Interlude: A Disclaimer For All Concerned



Ever since the first time I heard a faceless and potato-shaped porn actor accuse the actress he was plowing of being "a dirty whore", I've been interested in how words can add to a sexual experience. I've dedicated a lot of time and practice to technique (to call it a 'science' would be delusions of grandeur to the nth degree) of verbal degradation as foreplay to, companion to, or proxy for physical sexual activity. From sneaking aspects into my non-BDSM relationships ("God, you're a dumb twat. ...Just kidding honey!") to seeking out online masochists even more fucked-up than I for the purposes of subjecting them to the mental equivilent of the Manhattan Project, it's been a long and strange journey. If I listed the full extent of the things I've told women, or ordered them to beg for, I would quickly be banned, despite my good intentions. And now that I've reaffirmed by desire to find a slave with whom to share my life, part of what I look for in a prospective sub is her ability to participate in and proactively provoke and support the verbal edge play I love so much.

However.

Consistant through every obscene scenario I've poured into the female ear, every blood-curdling obscenity I've made them beg for, every lewd and dirty insult I've hurled into their faces on the heels of a hard slap...have been two things.

First, the intellectual honesty to know that the things I say are not true, and that our mutual enjoyment of them is mostly because of this very fact- that we revel together in wrongness, untruth, and taboo, like two pigs fucking in a pile of verbal mud.

Second, there has always, always been consent. I have never pushed a verbal hard limit. Never verbally abused anyone who didn't want it, or who was clearly becoming upset. If I sub has too many verbal limits for me, I find another sub. I don't try to bend what shouldn't be bent.

So, before you write your congressman (or forum admin) saying I'm a monster, make sure you understand that the beauty of verbal degradation, of lowing a female to nothing via words and admissions, come from the ritual of her complete submission to you, and demonstrating her nothingness compared to you. Not the reality. And it's certainly not a ritual that should be forced upon her.

- FS