While I am far from the most heavily versed Dominant on the site, I'll put my two cents in. I don't know how it is for other folks, but for me, I am a natural leader type person. What I mean to say is, people naturally seem to look to me to direct them/lead them. That sort of thing just happens. Do I feel that I 'need' to tell them what to do? No. For me to want to give instruction/hurt someone on a sexual level, I have to be attracted to them. That being said, I find myself giving instruction to people quite often. Circular post? Yup. Basically, what I mean to say is this: I don't feel a need to tell someone what to do/hurt someone unless I am attracted to them already. Make sense?