I've been thinking....

[Flaming_Redhead]

Does that mean I am any less submissive because I am so ’in your face’

Yes, actually, it does. There are different levels of submission. An otherwise dominant personality will generally submit to a supervisor at work. Some people have a dominant personality everywhere, except with their spouse/significant other. A few display submissiveness to almost everyone.

The definition of submissive, which is an adjective, according to dictionary.com is as follows.

1. Inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient: Submissive servants.

2. Marked by or indicating submission: A submissive reply.

Synonyms include the following.

1. Tractable, compliant, pliant, amenable.
2. Passive, resigned, patient, docile, tame, subdued.

Does this mean I’m disrespectful?

Where I come from, "sir" and "ma'am" are not titles at all but terms of address used when displaying courtesy, usually to those who would be considered elders. The title of master or mistress only applies to those you have chosen to address as such.

Does this part of my personality mean im less submissive or not submissive enough?

You may not be as submissive as someone else, and you may not be submissive enough for some dominators. It's not necessarily a bad thing, although it would be much easier to find a mate if everyone was the same.

Does this mean that I am Dominate because I feel like respect is earned?

No, it really doesn't.

Does this mean that when I enter the chat I have to sit in the shadows and not speak, or speak when spoken to?

I haven't seen any such rules posted here, but I have seen them posted for chat rooms requiring protocol on other sites.

Does this mean that if I am talking to my Master that I let him do every last bit of the talking and just sit there like a robot and nod?

It depends on what you both want out of the relationship. If speech restrictions are being employed, then you might end up doing just that. However, the lifestyle people I've met haven't wanted an automaton.

Does this mean that when I am on the phone I have my Master make up the whole conversation without me getting a word in edgewise and or have there be silence? (sorry I don’t like to get on the phone just to sit in silence)

I guess it depends on how much he talks and whether or not he will tolerate being interrupted which could be interpreted as rudeness. It also depends on whether or not you like to be talked at rather than talked to.

But do any of the things I listed above make a submissive a bad submissive, or is the submissive doing something wrong?

Just because someone doesn't fit another's ideal of submissiveness doesn't mean he/she is bad. You may not be right for some, but that doesn't mean you're wrong.

Should he/she have to change their whole personality because they want to fit in this perfect submissive mold that someone created?

Nobody is perfect. If you like yourself just the way you are, don't change. Some people like the idea of being molded. Different strokes for different folks.

Should he/she hide who they really are because they come off Dominate?

This is what is wrong with dating. People hide who they really are and think that once the honeymoon is over it's okay to do the Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde thing. It's called bait and switch, and it's dishonest.


I've been told that I'm barely submissive. I've also been regarded as a doormat by others. I guess it depends on which way the light reflects off my hair. Actually, I'm not service oriented, meaning that I don't submit out of a need to serve. I submit out of love, i.e. the desire to make the people I love happy. Everyone else can kiss my ass!

[shayna{L_D}]

[COLOR="Red"][B]Yes, actually, it does. There are different levels of submission. An otherwise dominant personality will generally submit to a supervisor at work. Some people have a dominant personality everywhere, except with their spouse/significant other. A few display submissiveness to almost everyone.

This comment almost hurt me a little but, but i didnt take it personally. Everyone can have an opinion. Now am i the best submissive in the bdsm world? hell no. I have a lot to learn about being submmissive and what it all means. Ive been learning about this lifestyle for almost a year so im pretty new. I like you said above I am dominant in work situations and in social interatons (to some extent), but behind closed doors its a totally different ball game. But in order to get behind the closed doors you have to like who i am as a person and accept that when im at work, or with friends (either internet or real life) i am going to be 'in your face' and talk a lot. I feel like if they dont like it then dont ask me to submit to you and then try to change every aspect of my personality. I can understand voice restriction, etc, as punishment and or the Dom telling me to tone it down (im not going to lie to get carried away on stories and stuff) but to totally stop talking, hide in the shodows and change who i am. Its like what to you want a doormat??


As to your 'being molded' comment, i dont like to be molded in any way shape or form. I can be told what to do and how to act at times by my Dom but i feel the whole reason he wants to be with me is beucase he liked my pesonality and wanted me as his submissive. He didnt want to shove a penny through a keyhole if you know what i mean


Thank you for your reply.

[silverwind{MN}]

As to your 'being molded' comment, i dont like to be molded in any way shape or form.
Thank you for your reply.

just be yourself rNt.. i like the way you are new york attitude and all.. and far as D/s, that if for you to decide not anyone else.. i also think respect has to be earned not just given to everyone that puts caps in the nick.

You tell'em girl and don't worry about being a perfect! nobody is.

[SUBtly_shy]

Yes, actually, it does.

I've been told that I'm barely submissive. I've also been regarded as a doormat by others. I guess it depends on which way the light reflects off my hair. Actually, I'm not service oriented, meaning that I don't submit out of a need to serve. I submit out of love, i.e. the desire to make the people I love happy. Everyone else can kiss my ass!

AWSOME!!! I know how you feel on that score glad to see that I'm not the only one of that mind