I've been thinking....

[Flaming_Redhead]

Does that mean I am any less submissive because I am so ’in your face’

Yes, actually, it does. There are different levels of submission. An otherwise dominant personality will generally submit to a supervisor at work. Some people have a dominant personality everywhere, except with their spouse/significant other. A few display submissiveness to almost everyone.

The definition of submissive, which is an adjective, according to dictionary.com is as follows.

1. Inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient: Submissive servants.

2. Marked by or indicating submission: A submissive reply.

Synonyms include the following.

1. Tractable, compliant, pliant, amenable.
2. Passive, resigned, patient, docile, tame, subdued.

Does this mean I’m disrespectful?

Where I come from, "sir" and "ma'am" are not titles at all but terms of address used when displaying courtesy, usually to those who would be considered elders. The title of master or mistress only applies to those you have chosen to address as such.

Does this part of my personality mean im less submissive or not submissive enough?

You may not be as submissive as someone else, and you may not be submissive enough for some dominators. It's not necessarily a bad thing, although it would be much easier to find a mate if everyone was the same.

Does this mean that I am Dominate because I feel like respect is earned?

No, it really doesn't.

Does this mean that when I enter the chat I have to sit in the shadows and not speak, or speak when spoken to?

I haven't seen any such rules posted here, but I have seen them posted for chat rooms requiring protocol on other sites.

Does this mean that if I am talking to my Master that I let him do every last bit of the talking and just sit there like a robot and nod?

It depends on what you both want out of the relationship. If speech restrictions are being employed, then you might end up doing just that. However, the lifestyle people I've met haven't wanted an automaton.

Does this mean that when I am on the phone I have my Master make up the whole conversation without me getting a word in edgewise and or have there be silence? (sorry I don’t like to get on the phone just to sit in silence)

I guess it depends on how much he talks and whether or not he will tolerate being interrupted which could be interpreted as rudeness. It also depends on whether or not you like to be talked at rather than talked to.

But do any of the things I listed above make a submissive a bad submissive, or is the submissive doing something wrong?

Just because someone doesn't fit another's ideal of submissiveness doesn't mean he/she is bad. You may not be right for some, but that doesn't mean you're wrong.

Should he/she have to change their whole personality because they want to fit in this perfect submissive mold that someone created?

Nobody is perfect. If you like yourself just the way you are, don't change. Some people like the idea of being molded. Different strokes for different folks.

Should he/she hide who they really are because they come off Dominate?

This is what is wrong with dating. People hide who they really are and think that once the honeymoon is over it's okay to do the Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde thing. It's called bait and switch, and it's dishonest.


I've been told that I'm barely submissive. I've also been regarded as a doormat by others. I guess it depends on which way the light reflects off my hair. Actually, I'm not service oriented, meaning that I don't submit out of a need to serve. I submit out of love, i.e. the desire to make the people I love happy. Everyone else can kiss my ass!