I've been thinking....

[Kuskovian]

Do not take this the wrong way; but the problem is not with your submission in any way.

If they think or precive you to be a domina then perhaps you are above them in the "hierarchy of dominion".

All creatures fall somewhere within this hierarchy and thier positions within it are relative to thier individual preceptions of others in relationship to themselves.

IE: It is quite natural for you to only submit to those individuals you precieve to have dominance over you.

That is: perhaps those who think you are "in your face" or a domina, are not willful enough to command your respect or be considered dominant enough by you to be worthy of your submission.

Thier statements of complaint or assumption; in both accounts, only reveal more about thier own in-securities and or true nature than it does of that of your own.

The fault in any case, is most certianly not yours.

The best submissives are often the most spirited.

[blythe spirit]

Do not take this the wrong way; but the problem is not with your submission in any way.

If they think or precive you to be a domina then perhaps you are above them in the "hierarchy of dominion".

All creatures fall somewhere within this hierarchy and thier positions within it are relative to thier individual preceptions of others in relationship to themselves.

IE: It is quite natural for you to only submit to those individuals you precieve to have dominance over you.
That is: perhaps those who think you are "in your face" or a domina, are not willful enough to command your respect or be considered dominant enough by you to be worthy of your submission.

Thier statements of complaint or assumption; in both accounts, only reveal more about thier own in-securities and or true nature than it does of that of your own.

The fault in any case, is most certianly not yours.

The best submissives are often the most spirited.

Thank you for this response. I, like rnt have been "accused" of being a Domme, simply because I've yet to meet a Dominant, who was stronger than I.

My outward persona is very strong, aggressive and "in-your-face, but my soul's urge longs for that one person who can put me and keep me in my place. The Dominants, I have found, want a woman who will submit without them exerting any energy whatsoever. Unfortunately, I have learned that it is relatively easy to be an awesome Dominant for an hour, a day, a week. It is considerably more difficult to sustain and reinvent and recreate that, endlessly.

In my opinion, an adept Dominant can extract submission from the strongest of women.

[fetishdj]

All creatures fall somewhere within this hierarchy and thier positions within it are relative to thier individual preceptions of others in relationship to themselves.

IE: It is quite natural for you to only submit to those individuals you precieve to have dominance over you.

All true. The psychological variable we call 'dominance', which has 'submissive' at one end and 'dominant' at the other is a normal distribution. i.e. it is a bell curved distribution. The majority of the population are in the middle of the curve whereas the extremes are what we can call 'Doms' and 'subs'. Societely we impose a fake cut off point to indicate where those who are 'truly' submissive or 'truly dominant' lie. However, imposing a simple binary feature to these variables (i.e. you are either submissive or dominant) is far too simplistic for the actual situation which is that there is a gentle gradiation between those who are extreme 'dominant' and those who are extreme 'submissive'. Bear in mind that even many switches express a preference for one or the other and therefore betray themselves as being more towards one extreme or the other.

The important point is that we judge our relative level of dominance in comparison with others. You may be the big fish in your pond but in the pond next door there may be a bigger one.

Now this is partially independent to the roles we assign ourselves. You call yourself a sub but may be quite high up the 'dominance' scale. What needs to be remembered is that the self imposed roles and the way BDSM society works is largely consensual. You call yourself a sub and allow a Dom to treat you as such. A Dom is only a Dom so long as the sub lets them be one. Someone quite low on the dominance scale may let a bad dom get away with more before they object and exercise the legal right to tell them to F off. A sub with a high dominance may take less shit before they give up and walk away and therefore need a more dominant (and competent) dom.

This is not, I have to add, to say that doms with really submissive subs is necessarily a bad dom, just that it is easier to be dominant with a really submissive partner than it is with someone who is more independent. Some Doms appreciate the challenge of a 'bratty sub'. others find it too much to take and prefer someone with a little more pliability. This is why it is so important to find the right Dom for you and why just any old person calling themselves a Dom will not do.