By my definition, foreplay and afterplay are anything that occurs before or after penetration. That includes talking in the restaurant beforehand...

Seriously, I am mainly referring to oral and manual stimulation of the genitals because the longer you do this prior to penetration the better (and more likely) any orgasm will be. This is, of course, a purely physiological response to the issue as I feel others (Oz, in particular) have covered the mental stimulation rather well aready and it is true that the mind is the best sexual organ. However, in my experience, assuming she is already aroused in the mind, good technique in foreplay combined with good communication can make a massive difference to a woman who is finding it difficult to actually achieve orgasm.

Out of interest, how many women here have actually ejaculated? Not just orgasmed but actually released an ejaculate? I mention this because many women seem to think that they have achieved final orgasm when really they haven't because they have not actually ejaculated. Don't worry if you never have - apparently it is difficult to achieve and most women find that they do not need to in order to be satisfied - I am just looking for a quick poll of who has and under what circumstances.