Since I am naturally Dom in my life and seek control, I often give orders or act in control with many people I'm not even attracted too. The attraction begins when someone responds favorably to the control. Often this process is so ingrained that I never really think about it. On the other hand I do find myself holding back my Dom impulses with women I casually meet and may be attracted to because I am mindful of the rather specific nature of my desires, and that it is only shared by a small percentage of the population at large. I think the bottom line is that there is no strategy to it, just action, reaction, and more action.