Quote Originally Posted by icey View Post
im not sure id consider this humiliation! it's extremely dangerous! do you know that you can control an eating disorder but you're never actually cured of it?
and to fuck with someones head with it can be extremely damaging! even if she agreed to and enjoyed it, it's re-einforcment no matter how much control she may have over it ..its like giving an alcoholic a glass of champagne because its christmas.
i have an ED and there have been times ive been in control for fairly long periods too but had anyone ever done anything like that to me no matter how aware i was and reassured that it was play only i would have flipped right over the edge! sometimes just because someone gives consent to something it doesnt mean that makes it ''safe''
it's a mental health disorder ie: a serious illness...not just a body issue to be used for a game.
it's ok to say it's a matter of judgement but somethings cant be judged or simplified that easily.

im sorry i dont want to change or spoil your thread but that scares me its more than just edgeplay or a bit of kink and ok it's just my opinion but i really do think anything like that should be stayed well clear of.
I probably should have clarified that this particular sub wasn't severely afflicted to the point that it greatly affected her life, or required an intervention, and so on. Occasionally, she would indulge in unhealthy habits in order to stay thin, and confessed this to me- and obviously she felt secure enough to allow body-type humiliation and verbal abuse. At the time this occured, she hadn't lapsed into that sort of behaviour for a number of years. We had a talk about it and agreed that it wouldn't be a problem.

I didn't feel like there was any danger at the time, and I feel like I was accurate in that assessment. The world is replete with cutters, bipolars and depressives of all stripes, but I never feel like there's much risk in verbal abuse simply because it's very important to me that both sides understand the inherent dishonesty in the statements being used. It's really the furthest thing from legitimate criticism.

If I had thought at the time that she was making a mistake in not setting a limit, I would have confronted her about it. But circumstances being what they were, I thought it was ok, because of all the different factors. Just like any form of play- you have to weigh all the information and decide whether to set a limit. In the passage you quote, the wording used is:

"The memory of her previous feelings about herself would surface and add authenticity to her degradation."


This is very different from:

"Her previous feelings about herself would surface and add authenticity to her degradation."


One maintains the proper perspective, and one does not. And I would never involve myself in the second case- it's irresponsible, destructive, and cruel.

- FS