Quote Originally Posted by Pearlgem View Post
It's funny, I've been thinking about this lately. In a vanilla relationship it's often a good thing to play it cool, not to reveal your hand too quickly, play a little hard to get especially if you're a woman. If you didn't you'd be considered unattractively 'in your face', gauche, maybe too needy.
But when you're a sub, these are unhelpful characteristics. You strive to be open, honest, revealing, responsive, pleasing; in short, vulnerable. Isn't it funny how one type of relationship requires you to hold back and the other to give all?
I've been thinking about this too. Dating is like a dance, with prescribed steps. If getting to know someone in a bdsm context is a dance, I've yet to learn the rules. I can't believe that it is attractive to be so vulnerable so quickly. (And yes, I'm being careful - I don't mean anything physical.)