I'm very independent and opinionated in real life. I take charge and lean to the dominant side. I started discovering my sexuality relatively late. I was so very innocent in high school. I didn't even look at internet porn/erotica until my second year of university.

When I finally took that step, I quickly realized that my eyes kept being drawn to the images of women in bondage. The feminist side of me freaked out at that, but eventually I got curious enough to look at the bondage pictures more closely. Once I finally let myself look, hours went by in a blink while I just kept looking and looking. I think I even stayed up all night, realizing what possibilities were out there. That's when I started to learn about bdsm, and realized that what I'm looking for is a man who I love and trust enough to give him complete control of me.

Through the beauty of hindsight, I realize that I must have been hardwired to be drawn to being submissive. Years before I even knew about the existence of bdsm, I remember seeing a TV commercial. It was for one of those "true life" crime dramas that made everything seem so overly dramatic. There was a woman saying how the girl had died "with her mouth stretched around a ball". My immediate thought was "maybe she had liked the ball part and then things went too far". Anyway, the point of this paragraph is that without being aware of the existence of the lifestyle, I was already thinking in these patterns.