If you'd asked me even 2 years ago if there was any submissive part to my nature, I would've just laughed. In the childhood games others have mentioned, playing with my cousins & neighborhood boys, I was always the hero, the leader. Even when I was captured & tied up, within minutes I'd get myself free & turn the tables on the bad guys. In sports & martial arts, I'd of course take direction from the coaches & instructors, because I wanted to improve my skills, but I was still the leader within the team. I'm a very alpha person, taking charge of team projects in grad school, leading both my direct reports & other people at work to resolve issues & get things done.

I was completely unprepared to find myself in a situation where I wasn't in charge, just totally blown away. A bunch of people from work went out for happy hour & I ended up the last one there except for this guy from another department I knew casually. Once we were alone, his whole demeanor changed & I suddenly realized I was sitting across the table from a very alpha male. I had chosen the bar, the table with easy access to 3 exits, the seat with my back to the wall, so I was still feeling pretty comfortable. In short order, I was nervous & jumpy, so uncharacteristic for me. When he caught me glancing over my shoulder at the back way out, he smiled, leaned forward & looked me dead in the eyes as he said that I'd never make it, he'd have me before I hit the door. I was lost...

It took him a year to bring me to the point where I'd submit to him without putting up a fight & even longer before I'd admit that I liked it. I don't know where that submissive streak came from, it's still something that surprises me & that I don't understand. I don't know if it just took someone even more alpha than I am to bring it out or if there's anyone else that could invoke the same reaction in me since he's moved away.