Body Size & Shape

[AdrianaAurora]

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Repelled by them as people - no, I have plenty of friends, family and colleagues ranging from merely fat to super size whom I judge solely on their personality and intellect, just like everybody else.

Repelled by them sexually - repelled seems like such a strong and mean word, but yes. Its not them its me - I am a bit of a hygiene freak and I just cant get over those folds of flesh, large fatty stomachs, their navels, and for some reason I associate it with sweatiness.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

I don't think there is anything attractive about an anorexic, unnaturally skinny, gaunt looking women - all I see is the disease.

But again, as people - no, sexually/aesthetically - yes.

What body type attracts you most?

With men, strictly physically, for some reason I am affected by men who look like Jerry Seinfeld/David Copperfield/Ben Stiller - not too tall, darker skin, dark hair, medium build.
But I married a man who is a total opposite and am totally smitten by Him and enamored of His body, so that goes to show its all .

With women - as long as they take care of themselves - its primarily their attitude and their personality. I am horrendously strict when judging myself, but with other women you could say I am (unintentionally/naturally) benevolent, I think they all look beautiful and its their character/charisma that determents their attractiveness.

If I like the aura/chemistry of the person...I find slim, medium, normal, overweight and those on the slimmer side of fat equally attractive.

I understand that illness and hormonal treatments cause gaining weight, but that accounts for what, maybe 1 to 10% tops of overweight people.

The majority of people are overweight because they don't do anything to try to change - they don't exercise, they eat wrong and they eat too much - instead they prefer to dream about one morning magically waking up skinny.

I am also not impressed with the "slap the skinny" b**ch fast some people have indulged here to make themselves feel better. I cant count how many times I have caught fat women starring at me with an acrimonious gaze, like its my fault. And I am not even skinny, I am a normal weight for my height and toned due to exercise.


How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

If my husband only thinks I am getting into my "ugly day" mood, He thinks its His duty to spank it out of me - thats how, lol.

I wish I was a little taller so I could hug and kiss Him when I feel like it, instead of having to ask Him to bend over. He's 6.4 and I'm 5.3.

Sometimes I obsess about the size of my breasts; they look great now, but I shudder to think where they will be in another five years, . And, a bit of an oxymoron, while I find fake breasts unattractive, I still because mine aren't gravity deifying, ball like monstrosities, lol.

With everything else, I'm pretty happy to be me. I have great skin, great hair and huge eyes, so I think it all balances each other out. I have never wanted to be anyone else, just to look my own best.

What bothers me is the uniformity of how models look. For instance I have been buying Cosmopolitan since I was 14 i.e. more than 10 years and I have yet to see a brown eyed model demonstrating eyeshadow for brown eyed women (!), the best they can do is hazel/green. Is that insane or what?

And why do all make up "advisers" think that brown eyes automatically means dark hair/dark-er skin? Pale people have brown eyes too.

And airbrushing is my pet peeve and weakness. It should be considered a criminal activity, at best its deceit. And yet, its how I think I should look 24/7/365. Intellectually I know that those women have no armpits, no knees, no freckles, no scars and that its completely unattainable - but still its what I have gotten into my head that men expect and want. My husbands answer to this rationale is a raised eyebrow.

It has no effect on my sex life, but it does effect on how I think people perceive me.

[jelly88]

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
This might sound bad or whatever but I am the a fan of the truth. I have never hooked up with a fat guy and I have no interest in doing so. Big guys are great who are built stocky but if they have a gut that like hangs or whatever it just repells me.

I'm not really into girls (most of the time) but in art I love the women with a bit of wobble on them they seem more real and more loved and more loveable. A flat toned stomache is a big turn on though *shrugs*.


Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

The only time I find a really thin chick attractive is in porn. Like because they just seem so breakable and vunrable. But then the rest of the time they just kind of look unwell.

And thin men. At the moment its not a go for thing but I used to dig it in my late teens.

What body type attracts you most?

Powerful musclar tanned. Taken care of in a rough way.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

Great now I have to talk about myself... So currently I am over weight. I weigh about 10kgs more then I think I should and it use to be more like 18kgs over. So I used to be a lights on girl. And now I am a hide under the blankets lights off girl. But that being said I am getting much more comfortable bringing myself back to were I think my body should be. All that said I will always (unless I get some eating disorder) have a big ass and chunky legs, a flat tummy and small boobs... but thats me and I found that everythings better when I go with what I've got instead of staring at someone else.

[alpha_Straye]

I have had men make disparaging comments about my body size/shape while I am naked in bed with them. There were at least a couple of guys who took one look at my naked body and said, "wow, you need more muscle tone."
And there was one particular ex who saw me naked, and just flat out told me that I am "huge." (Which I don't agree with, BTW, but whatever.)

Wow.. way 101 for a guy to get chucked out of the house stark naked. Or hog tied with his underwear and left on the lawn, but perhaps im in a mood today *wry smile*.

Please, Madam, if there were anything they honestly thought was so wrong with You, then they wouldnt have bothered to make the effort to get into Your bed. i hope You didnt take any bit of that BS to heart because even if whatever flaw were real (which i sincerely doubt) there would be no reason or exscuse to be so impolite as to say so like that. It sounds to me like a trick to damage your selfesteem by someone with his own sexual problems (and typical abuser stuff by the way). Anybody else who found some suprise detail too objectionable would just make some exscuse and leave... which means this stuff wasnt You. It was them and their own problems with themselves. It's not my place to say but i think You're well rid of them, even though im sure it hurt You anyways which im sorry for *sigh*.

[bip0lar]

yeh, right on to what alpha_Straye is saying, i've thought of that a million times: if you can get hard then you don't get to complain. </rant>

[Ragoczy]

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

What body type attracts you most?

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

I'm more prone to be attracted to someone who isn't overweight (truly overweight, not over the ridiculous standard set by models). If someone is overweight, then my level of attraction is affected by how they carry it -- I've known some who are very overweight but carry it in such a way that they're also very attractive ... I suppose it's a subjective thing.

[SnickerKitten]

I tend to be much harder on myself as far as appearances go than on what appeals to me in other people. Ragoczy never lost his desire for me when I topped out at a size 14 but I was not happy with myself and felt less attractive to him in my own mind. Oddly enough, I did experience the sensation of feeling invisible in public.

I am now down to a size 4 and I feel extremely attractive. I am not entirely certain that it is being thinner that causes me to attract so much more attention in public as that I *feel* much more attractive and project a lot more self confidence. I think *that* is what attracts attention to me and keeps me far from invisible.

As far as how body type affects my view of other people... I prefer men to be thin but muscled and definately defined. Women I like soft and balanced; well-proportioned. If she's big on top then she needs to be big on the bottom, too.

-kitten

[icey]

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
not repelled but definately not attracted, i do have a huge fear of fat though
Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
im straight but thin ...very thin women attract me, but men just of an average size not fat or thin.

What body type attracts you most?
average, i dont like fat thin or muscly 6 packs

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
at times very badly, its never easy for me to be seen naked and never has been,i have an ED and when it's in full blown mode im terrified of anyone seeing or touching my body i dont even look at it myself lol which needless to say does not make sex easy or much fun
when you're visually and physically repelled by your own body its very difficult to be,feel or act sexual all you want to do is hide yourself away or cower in a corner and cry, and im embarrased to admit i have been known to do that.
and in D/s r/ships its even worse as you're not supposed to say no,or refuse to accept that your Dom/me thinks you're sexy attractive or whatever which then often leads to arguements or 'tellings off', so each time becomes more and more tense; for both parties.

[DirtyAmericanEcchi]

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
I am not attracted to those that are over weight, and for the overly obese I am somewhat repulsed physically - but this does not make them a bad person.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
I am very attracted to women who are thin, or with slight curves. This is somewhat bias as I am a 6ft male with 150lbs that I carry around in body weight.

What body type attracts you most?
Skinny to curvy, as along as it is well proportion I am content.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
I am very confident in my love and sex life far as physical appearance. I tend not to dwell on my own level of physical attractiveness. I assume that if a tall skinny and mysterious man such as myself can get girls with out much effort on my part that I am doing well, and why question it? I realize that not every woman is attracted to by demeanor or body type, but I do have a niche market, and I am more then happy to shop there as well.

[PropertyOfMasterJoey]

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
i don't mind a little extra padding. i think it depends on their frame. Some people can pull off being bigger than others. i guess it just depends on how they work it :-P

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?
once again, depends on how they work it. if it's a girl i prefer them curvy and a guy i like to have enough meat on his bones so i feel like he could overpower me and protect me but once again it depends

What body type attracts you most?
i'm not attracted to a specific body type it just depends.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?
very much so. i was emotionally abused by my mom which drove me to bullemia. my low self-esteem made me aim for guys who treated me like crap. Master was the first to treat me good and make me see myself the same way He does

[Wyked Bytch]

Thank you Claire for asking these questions.I guess I should start by saying I am BIG..*grin very BIG* and never fully felt comfortable with being big in the vanilla world. When I found BDSM I found ME. I found that most in the BDSM community care less for society imposed body norm and more for the ability and attitude of the person. One of my first ever public play sessions was at 2 of NYCs infamous BDSM clubs, and there I felt like a Goddess, I have never had so many men and women so openly desiring me it was an amazing rush. It will be so wonderful when vanilla meets BDSMsopeness and acceptance of any and all.

[IAmCanadian]

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Physically, I am repelled by a fat person (though that terms seems harsh). From time immemorial human beings have been conditioned by nature to pursue and attempt to mate with the most "fertile looking" females. This insures that good genes get passed on down the line. I understand that this is a very pragmatic view but it jibes with how I feel and how my body tends to respond. When I see an hourglass shape, the swell of breasts, glowing skin, luxurious hair and other qualities indicative of beauty and good genes, I am very attracted. I know it sounds cruel, but...there is a lot of science behind this. Human beings are like any other creatures. As much as we can claim to be programmed by magazines like Maxim to accept one female body type as the gold standard for desirability, the truth is that Maxim is the proof of our programming rather than the cause of it. If the human race were inclined to be attracted to overweight people, we would be a race of extremely overweight beings by now, after a thousand generations of that bias.

I have had burgeoning online relationships end quite painfully because I wasn't attracted once the time came to take the next step and see what the other looked like. Painful, yes- but trying to supress tens of thousands of years of instinct is even more painful. In such cases I'm always careful to let them down as gently as possible. Though the question wasn't phrased to include this, I can't help but offer the caveat that a huge percentage of so-called attractive women tend to have unworkable amounts of self-esteem, rendering them very poor submissives, at least for my purposes. On the flip side of the coin, I have found that many women with body issues lack self-esteem and so are more natural submissives.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

If by thin you mean shapely and attractive, then yes. If by thin you mean as unreasonably thin as the fat person from the above question is unreasonably fat, the answer is no, for the same reason discussed above.

What body type attracts you most?

The fertile-looking female type that my mind is programmed to pursue.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

I think it's only pragmatic to judge oneself partially by the attractiveness of one's mate. This sounds like something out of National Geographic, but part of me feels like getting into a relationship with an overweight woman is akin to giving up- admitting that I don't have what it takes to attract a mate (preferably a submissive) who is attractive to me. As a result, though, I'm still single- so I guess I paid the price. On at least three occasions I've turned down chances to delve further into relationships because of the body type of a prospective partner. But that wasn't the question.

My own body issues have sometimes hindered my love and sex life as well. I'm not overweight, but my inability to find the perfect woman for me has sometimes made me wonder if, for some reason, I'm just not attractive to the opposite sex.

The last word I want to say on the subject is that there's a sort of sliding scale in play here, at least for me. The more perfect a woman is in terms of wit, kindness, uninhibitedness and sexual compatibility, the more physical flaws I'm willing to overlook. For perfect sexual compatibility I'd be willing to overlook quite a lot. Not that I expect to ever find that.

- FS

[medusa]

I'm big, but not just in the overweight sense. I'm ridiculously tall and really very muscular too, which means that I'm a true example of a BBW!

My partner is overweight, but that's not why I'm with him. I am not repelled by either overweight or thin and I've been out with both, but I'm pretty repulsed by a bigot (it's far more to do with the mind for me).

If picking eye candy, I tend to pick very tall, muscular and Scandinavian (think Magnus Samuelsson, the world's strongest man competitor).

Ironically my body image has improved dramatically as I've aged, bearing in mind that as I've aged I've gained weight (from being a model in late teens) and gained significant disabilities too. When I was younger and thinner I was desperately insecure and would never have worn a mini skirt or swimsuit unless it was for a job. These days I wear what I want to and people can either look or not look, as they see fit.

I'm not sure whether my no longer giving a toss about other people's opinions of me is due to aging or a product of having been seriously ill- either way round I'm quite pleased that it's happened because these days I'm free not to fret about whether I'm conforming to any sort of social norm.

[long_x9]

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?
Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

Im going to answer both at the same time. I am not particularly attracted to fat or thin women more then I am the other. The most important thing is that they are healthy and happy. I find someone who is happy much more attractive then one that is unhappy. The part of the answer that will probably answer what u wanted as a answer is that I think that women should be proportional. A bigger girl with no tits or ass is just not very attractive to me and a twig with DD+ just are unnatural and also not very attractive to me.


What body type attracts you most?

well lets start from the top down, I like long black hair with a cute face. The face is one of the most important areas to me if Im not attracted to your face it just isnt going to work out for me. I like big boobs ( but proportional so to go with the rest of what Im going to say well just say anywhere between Large C and F) torso,arms and legs should have meat on them but not over doing it.. something u can grab but I dont want it to feel like its the same consistency as there boobs all over there body.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

it doesn't I dont think about how I look when Im with my girl even though I wish I was skinnier and more attractive I dont let it bother me when me and her are having our alone time

[skp2bear]

The only thing I find utterly is the tall men and women who are very thin as in less than size 8. For one thing their thin stature ensures future health and memory problems. There is no way their bodies can store enough protein to protect their bodies and joints. My weight has been about the same for thirty years at least never varying more than 20 pounds. At my age i'm the same as every woman in the family and all have lived well into their eighties. It was only towards the end when they lost their weight the started breaking hips and things.Right now I'm size 16 side of size 18. Sure I find it hard to believe someone would find me attractive but the when I colored my hair a reddish brown to attend the annual reenlistment as a substitute teacher I looked at myself in the webcam and found a very cute woman looking almost twenty years younger than she actually is.

[his_girl_l]

First comment: Almost without exception the women who have posted here saying they are bigger and proud of it have chosen an avatar of a thin woman. Why? i don't have an avatar because i haven't uploaded a photo yet, but if i was going to choose one that wasn't a picof me i would want it to represent me and what i believe. So if being a bbw and proud of it is important to you, why are you girls choosing avatars with thin idealised bodies?

In my opinion an attractive body is all about proportion. i have a friend who is 5 foot 10. She is carrying a fair bit of extra weight but it is spread evenly over her body and she looks fabulous, like a goddess. i'm only 5foot 3 so every extra kilo really shows. Again though, up to a point it goes on evenly and i still look good. At the moment though i am carrying extra weight around my belly, still there after my last child, and i won't really be happy with my body till i move it.

i was actually a bit heavier than i am now when my Master first saw me. We then lost contact, i had another baby and when we got back in touch i was smaller than i had been, although still not back to where my body was before having kids.

i have been trying to lose the last of the weight, He knows this and has been encouraging it. But the other night He asked me if i was trying to lose it for Him and told me that if that was the case i shouldn't, that he loves my body as it is (and i think He is worried that if i lose more weight more will come off my breasts - he is so greedy, they are dd, they can afford to lose a little!).

But i thought about it and i'm not trying to lose it for Him. i just don't feel like me while i'm carrying it.

So i told Him that and He's going to keep encouraging me and use His influence to make me stick at it - because He knows it is important to my happiness.

Body shape is important to me but body size really isn't - although once you pass a certain size it is hard to stay in proportion unless you are 7 foot tall!

[MacGuffin]

I agree with I_27 that proportion is a critical factor in beauty. There was an excellent documentary presented by John Cleese "The Human Face" which went into the importance of proportion very well.

That said, for me big or small, tall or short is in itself unimportant but it does affect the body parts that get more attention and the activities I like to do with that particular gal - if a gal's got a big meaty ass then spanking is on the menu - if it's hard and bony then I will simply refocus elsewhere. I guess my ideal would be one of each size then I get to have a variety!

[FrozenGrapes]

I feel as if i should at least say a few words. My entire life i have struggled with my weight. through bouts of anorexia and bulimia through school. even now i am not a small girl however i came to decide a few years ago that regardless that i dont look like the actresses on the big screen it was ok.
now i am very comfortable with my not so perfect but very sexy self and know now that while there are different ideals, your mind is the most sexy thing you possess, all others will fade with time.
Now that being said, i have been with the most beautiful athletic girls and guys to guys that my friends have said "why?"... and the answer was always the same.. it is how they treat me. weather they were fine or not so fine, the way i was treated was always the deciding factor. and from that stemmed all other emotions, sexual or otherwise.

but to answer the questions more directly: i am not repelled by a larger person (unless we are speaking "cannot get out of bed type large) but i am a little repulsed by the ones that allow themselves to become nothing more than a skin covered skeleton.
I am most attracted to healthy or a little heavy men (thick) and the same for women (but really really, is there such thing as a non-sexy woman? just my opinion) i like curves, and i like athletisism but a little weight is nice too (bigger boobs *wink*)
and myself? i am not small and i am not enormous, i am thick, curvy and sexy as hell! could i lose a few lbs? sure.. do i feel it would make me more confident in the bedroom? i sure as hell hope not! because someone is liable to get hurt!! hehe!! kisses and hugs to all you sexy ass people!!

[shayna{L_D}]

Im going to chim in here.

I wasnt big all my life, i started to struggle with my weight when i was about 19. Ill be 24 in a few weeks. The weight struggle came from being teased about how "big" i was. Now let me give you an example of what i look like. I have big boobs *proud*, im 5'4ish, i have nice toned legs, and very skinny arms, so a lot of people would mistake my big boobs for being fat. It happened to me a lot. I mean A LOT.

I was in a bad relationship that left me feeling ugly and fat. I left that life and traded it for a new one, in a new city, with new people. *best desicion i ever made* With this change came a want to change the way i looked. I cut all my hair off, changed my style of clothing, and started to diet. *i was around 200 lbs at that point, and this was only back in January 08* Actually my work started the diet. It was a idea brought on by my bosses drive to lose weight. He made the "Chub club" 16 weeks, 5 dollars a week, lose 10% body weight, you win the money at the end, if 13 people did it the pot would be 1040, only one person lost 10% that one person would get all the money, more then one person wins, divey it up. I joined and won. I lost way more then my ten percent. I went from 200 lbs to 165. In 16 weeks. I cut out almost all carbs, i count calories, cut what i would normally eat in half, dont eat when im not hungry, work out twice a day..some people think im obesssed i just think its s drive to want to look and feel better.

Yes i lost a lot of weight but with that came more teasing, since i have big boobs *which are shrinking* people say i look like a steleton with boobs, or that i will just topple over, or that i am turning to dust. My best friend even calls me Ski N. AndBones, and or skeletor, or Bones. Not funny, and not cool. Hurts my feelings actually. So i guess u cant win if u are big or skinny. Most of the people that say theses are..big.

I hate the word fat, i really do. I think thats a cut down and makes the other person feel horrible. I never liked being called fat, so i wouldnt say it to someone else.

When I like someone, friendship or relationship, i like them for there mind, Like what Grapes said. Beaty fades the mind is ... til forever, (or until you die). I am not a shallow person. Ive been with big guys, small skinny guys, buff guys, medium guys, huge guys, and one skinny mini girl, they all turned me on in different ways. I am not turned off of bigger people, not one bit. I am not with someone, or someones friend bc they are skinny.

Am repelled by someone who is skinny, Not at all! Read above.



just my two cents.


correction: its not a diet i am on, its a lifestyle change.

[hopperboo]

Nice post. I agree. I hate the word "fat" and when I hear someone making mean remarks about someone being "fat" my respect and opinion about is shot down big time.

The club thing sounds like a great idea!

I am working on losing 20-30lbs. This summer was not good and I gained way too much weight. We had some family issues come up and I stopped working out (I did Pilates and 20-30 minutes on my elliptical machine) and because we did so much traveling there was a LOT of fast food going on.

I'm '5"2 so 10lbs shows quite enough. Thankfully I have a pretty even weight on my body so I always look 10lbs or more less than I am...but it still doesn't make it any better when I am looking at the scale. Or in the mirror.



(I think we should have a thread where anyone wanting to lose weight or is trying to be healthy can cheer each other on!)

[shayna{L_D}]

(I think we should have a thread where anyone wanting to lose weight or is trying to be healthy can cheer each other on!)

thank you Hopper I agree!! I know i wouldnt have won the chub club *chub club 3 started today also! here i go again!!* without the support of my friends and my co-workers. It was great. Youd hear people yelling "whats up skinny!!?" down the hallway at me, it made me feel rather good.

[blythe spirit]

Okay, here I go. *giggles* In my opinion, society has placed too much emphasis on weight - both over and under. When the government can go into schools and dictate what a child's BMI has to be in order to move on to the next grade - ummmm starts too many children, who may have some baby fat, to obsess and I don't think that's mentally healthy at all.

I was never skinny, but curvey, with rounded hips and full-sized breasts. I was proportionate, but more importantly, I was healthy and that's what mattered to me. I exercised regularly (just so I could eat the foods I loved lol) and, therefore, was solid.

To me, this form is quite sexy; however, I know men who like the flat-chested, thin as a rail girls and I wonder if they wouldn't be happier with a little boy. lol. Okay, don't get your panties in a twist, it was a joke.

Still, when I wrap my arms around someone to give a hug, I want something to wrap my arms around and can't stand being jabbed by bones. I have a friend just that skinny and everytime I hug her, I feel she's gonna break lol

Too skinny, too fat. Neither are healthy. But I question how anyone can determine what a particular weight should be for a particular height. We're all different and if we're healthy, dammit, that's all that matters.

[FatherTimejr]

Im not sure how right I should feel about how I think on this, but as a whole im a larger fellow, 275 lbs at the moment aiming to be about 250, but ive never really been attracted to large or larger woman....which something about me feels a little awkward about, like im not being fair, but what can I say...anyways to the questions...

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a large person?

I wouldnt say im physically attracted to them, and theirs a point where large is just too large for me. I like curvaceous women, and even if they are on the heavier side, as long as they carry it wel its great. But as it stands I've yet to be attracted to a woman heavier then I am.

I know this is a strange thing but for me...if a woman (or man, im not bi or gay but as for weight this applys the asme way) straightens their arm and you can no longer see their elbow...something deep inside of me flinches. And im not saying that to be mean, its just a truth with me...Now thats not to say alot of my friends ahvent been that heavy, ive had a number of friends of very large stature but yeah.

now that being said, blythe has said it as have a couple others, health is important, and is something I struggle with even with my body, and struggle to improve upon.

I wont place numbers to a weight because everyone holds it differently


Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

I think it really depends...I think my opinion here is similair to my opinion on overweight...is that the extreme rail thin doesnt work for me...now again their are skinny woman that skinny who can attract me by basis of personality.

when you get to the point where its uncomfortable to sit in your lap or hug them due to them being just that skinny, I probably wouldnt be attracted to them.

--

As a note, with both skinny and overweight, neither one would I go "oh im so repelled im disgusted get away from me." its just that im not attracted if that makes sense. I know how it is to be overweight and ive had my share of difficulties which i'll make mention to in erm two questions?


What body type attracts you most?

Body type that most attracts me...as I stated I like curvaceous woman who hold themselves wel, and really it goes either way, I like petite woman smaller then i am in height (im 6 foot) or I like the same in woman taller then I am. But either way I like them to have enough weight to give them curves.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

Id give that a signifficant YES. Ive never really given off an external sense of self-confidence problems, but deep down for a very long time, I had alot of confidence issues, and still do, but they are getting better as I sort myself out in my head.

For a long time, middle school and high school, I came to develope a sort of "oh well, I seriously doubt im going to find someone for me..." yadda yadada mentality, which I still manage to dredge up from time to time, which was strange because as time went on, I got used to that mentality and I think to a point it helped me become more Okay with my weight because I didnt worry about it as much. But at the same time it created a stumbling block in me finding someone. Nasty vicious little circle.

Ive worked through alot of that, though and have basically kept the confidence I have built up and thats just growing, while im working on dwindling the negative attitude.

Also in high school I wasnt necessarily wrong, my school was a very preppy high school, and looks was a large factor and while I wasnt bad looking, the fact that I was a large "nerd", well liked by the guys but well...., didnt help my love life.

To sum it up, yes it has effected things, but I think more then anything it was my mind that made me faulter -shrugs and grins-

Anyways in the end, none of these are SET rules, but just how things have appeared to me up until now. Is some of how I feel fair? probably not and I often myself dissapointed with my thoughts when I think one way or another about someone but well...cant make someone attractived to me, fortunately or unfortunately.

But for everyone, rail thin, or bbw, or anywhere in between, hold to yourself, change if you feel, if not be who you are, and it'll all work out.


edit- wow only after posting did I realize how much I wrote -coughs-

[blythe spirit]

FTjr, you stated your case well. In the end, you have to be happy with yourself. The fact that you're losing weight, not to please someone else, but yourself is a good thing.

If that's you in the avi, you're just a cutie. *winks* Are you overweight? hehehe Maybe you're just too short?

Strangely, there's an advantage to online, we get to know people from the inside out. And there's some really spectacular people out there both unweight and overweight.

[DiablosLittleOne]

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person?

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person?

What body type attracts you most?

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life?

1. I can and have been attracted to "fat" people. My husband is not a small man by any means and I've always liked bigger girls as well. I like a nice bust and ass; something to grab on to.

2. Hhmmmm...emaciated people, yes they repel me. *shudders* I think we all need a little meat on our bones, but thin people in general....I can be attracted to them and then again I may not be. All depends on the person themselves; they can have that "perfect" body but be so ugly inside that I wouldn't give them a second look.

3. This is hard for me to answer, as looking back I realize that none of the people I've been with have any physical characteristics in common. I like a big burly man, something about it makes me feel safe and at home. I like a woman with curves, something soft and warm to cuddle up with.

4. My issues don't effect me that much anymore. I can get up and walk around stark ass naked in front of Master with no problem. However, when it comes to others seeing me in the buff, I'm scared to death. I've had four children, I'm not a small woman and I feel that I'm flabby and fat. I would be scared to death that someone would look at me and go "eww...gross". It damned near gave me a heart attack to post a relatively tame picture of myself on here yesterday.

All that being said.....it's really not how a person looks on the outside. Well, it shouldn't matter anyway. The world would be a much better place if we all realized that.

[blythe spirit]

All that being said.....it's really not how a person looks on the outside. Well, it shouldn't matter anyway. The world would be a much better place if we all realized that.

Thank you for reiterating what I said.

[FatherTimejr]

thank you blythe. And hehe yes that is me, but its only from shoulders up and yeah i am overweight, im 6"1 or so and about 275 lbs. Working on getting to be about 250 I like being larger, but yeah...health issues ya know.

[MissConfused]

I am sorry if this has already been mentioned
This thread is long and I may have missed a reply

Does anyone here have a body that approaches their avatar?
Does everyone here seek pleasure and has an attitude that exceeds their avatar?

I believe the answer to body size lay not with the body but the mind
Will your master remember your body size after a session or will he remember your submission and pleasure from his domination?

[DowntownAmber]

I am sorry if this has already been mentioned
This thread is long and I may have missed a reply

Does anyone here have a body that approaches their avatar?
Does everyone here seek pleasure and has an attitude that exceeds their avatar?

I believe the answer to body size lay not with the body but the mind
Will your master remember your body size after a session or will he remember your submission and pleasure from his domination?

Perhaps if I had a team of Photoshop experts and airbrushers following me around 24/7 we could discuss approaching the avatar...lol

But you are correct in suggesting that attitude etc. overrides what our bodies may or may not look like. There is a significant difference to looking beautiful and being beautiful. My preference is a nice balance between the two. There's no way I would walk out on J if he put on a few pounds, I love who he is far too much for that. However, I am very pleased and more than a little turned on when he comes back from running or working out.

It's normal and healthy to love and appreciate both the physical and the mental aspects of our partners.

[goldendawn]

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a fat person? i personally am not repelled by a person who is overweight at all. i am more attracted to their confidence level, their personality, if i feel safe with them, their strength of mind and spirit, if they are generous and loving...all these things and more add up to whether i find them physically attractive or not. At first glance i may or may not be attracted to someone who is overweight but it has to do with how they carry themselves, not with their weight.

Are you physically attracted to or repelled by a thin person? Same answer as above, though when intimate, i do tend to like a little meat on the Mans bones. i like hugs and i like to "feel" well hugged, not saying a thin person doesn't give good hugs but i don't like to get bruised when being hugged either.

What body type attracts you most? If i had my way, stocky/muscular, any height above my own, however if i love the person, their body becomes my ideal as love tends to bring perfection to my eyes.

How have your own body issues affected your love/sex life? my body issues do not affect my love life at all. However, being a bit self conscious of my body, it has affected my sex life some. i tend to shy away from having the lights on or being in the open. i'm not an exhibitionist to begin with and am very shy as well but i think i would be less inhibited if i were to see in the mirror what i envision in my head.

What i have come to realize (just by answering these questions really) is that weight is just a small factor in the scheme of things. And it really should have no part in the lifestyle as it is changeable and offers a Dominant many opportunities to "be" Dominant and at the same time assisting the submissive to develop a good sense of health and body image, trust and self esteem etc. Attraction comes in many forms and most have nothing to do with a persons weight. So why do we sometimes feel that THAT is the one thing that may prevent us from becoming everything we wish to become?

Very few people i know are at their ideal weight. i am working towards mine, for my own confidence, my own health. It's not easy and it has taken me years to find a method that will work and be healthy at the same time. i've finally found the right combo for me. Am i losing the weight because i thought there was something wrong with me? Yes, i wasn't as healthy as i could have been and it was hurting my confidence because i let it. So i decided to do something about it. For no one else, but for me. If i had a Dominant in my home to lead me and push me towards my goal it would be easier but through the years i've not been with a Dominant who wanted that kind of control of me. It wasn't a jazzy enough topic in our lives to warrant the strength or attention needed.

Should you lose weight for someone else ? No, should you allow someone to help you if they care about you? Yes

[icey]

Nice post. I agree. I hate the word "fat" and when I hear someone making mean remarks about someone being "fat" my respect and opinion about is shot down big time.

i dont want to change the thread and i agree with this comment, but why is it that people dont think it mean to make mean remarks about skinny people! it should work both ways.
i didnt post as bluntly as i could have in regards to my feelings re ''fat'' because i didnt want to offend anyone but i noticed that many dont have a problem with referring to people as bony skinny twigs,thin as a rail etc