Ever had a sub snap/lose control

[leah06]

I'm treading in dangerous waters here, because I am very new to this and certainly couldn't begin to generalize from my very limited experience.

I've had some similar reactions recently, in a different context, and the two things that were the most helpful to me were that the person I was communicating with (this was not a face-to-face encounter) was very supportive and non-judgmental - which it sounds like you are but it's not just obvious that everyone would be - AND that he did not slip out of a Dominant position. I was feeling very frightened and out of control, and I think that if he had slipped into a "I feel your pain" kind of therapy, even though I can see that it might help some people, I think it would not have helped me. I really needed to know that he was in control, and that he knew what he was doing.

This is placing an unfair responsibility on you, but there you go.

[leo9]

AND that he did not slip out of a Dominant position. I was feeling very frightened and out of control, and I think that if he had slipped into a "I feel your pain" kind of therapy, even though I can see that it might help some people, I think it would not have helped me. I really needed to know that he was in control, and that he knew what he was doing.

This is placing an unfair responsibility on you, but there you go.

Well said. It is possible to be a supportive validating counselling partner within a Dominant role, and while everyone is different, someone who is having restimulation flashes in sub mode is probably best kept there to work on it as a task for hir Dom. After all, you're a sub because you feel safe and supported under someone else's control.

And no, I don't think it is an unfair responsibility. Unexpected, maybe, but that's why this thread is valuable: to let other Dom(me)s know that this may be part of the responsibility they're taking on.