I'm treading in dangerous waters here, because I am very new to this and certainly couldn't begin to generalize from my very limited experience.

I've had some similar reactions recently, in a different context, and the two things that were the most helpful to me were that the person I was communicating with (this was not a face-to-face encounter) was very supportive and non-judgmental - which it sounds like you are but it's not just obvious that everyone would be - AND that he did not slip out of a Dominant position. I was feeling very frightened and out of control, and I think that if he had slipped into a "I feel your pain" kind of therapy, even though I can see that it might help some people, I think it would not have helped me. I really needed to know that he was in control, and that he knew what he was doing.

This is placing an unfair responsibility on you, but there you go.