BDSM and Marriage

[blythe spirit]

My wife does not acccept this life style.

Welcome to the site.

I'm assuming by the above statement that you have already discussed your interests with your wife?

If not, I would, as the others have said, communicate your desires. However, should she not share your proclivity for this lifestyle, I don't envy the life-altering decisions you will have to face.

1. Divorce
2. Live a life of deceit (which will, no doubt, ultimately lead to divorce)
3. Dicuss with her the possibility of you exploring this lifestyle, whilst remaining in "wedded bliss." (In which case, if she agrees, boundaries would need to be established).
4. Suppress your cravings and submit to your wife's ideals.

Obviously, there are no easy answers for you and no help to be had. Search your soul and do what's right for both you and your wife.

[Mastrovenice]

Obviously, there are no easy answers for you and no help to be had. Search your soul and do what's right for both you and your wife.

The only thing I would add here is that what is best for you is not always what is right for the both of you. If you stay married, can you avoid the resentment that will build over the years? Although many have 'sucked it up' for the greater good, it always comes at a price.

I am going to assume that many here have experienced this dilemma, and some have even had to make the decision to divorce. It may seem like a selfish act, but we are all responsible for our own happiness. I would like to hear more about how people have moved through this and their own stories regarding staying in a marriage without BDSM or splitting in order to be true to their own selves. Perhaps that is another thread entirely.