AHHH what "is" is,, or for that matter what is a "submissive" in bdsm as opposed to submission in the vanilla world.


Honestly the answer to that question is going to depend on you and your relationship to your dominant more than anything else.

Platonic truth aside, you ultimately must decide on your own world view, and that begins in your own heart.

I think you will find; if you can listen to it's song and embrace it, you will find your way with more harmony than strife.

Of course thats the hard part.

From my own experience in some relationships I have had: being submissive was indeed sadely equated with being subordinate or beneath another in a litereral sence, in the sence that one is looked down upon or treated as though one isnt of the same value as the dominant etc, even sometimes treated lower than an animal in rare cases.

that is until I found joy and freedom in the collar of my Owner and now Husband from such misguilded presumptions that didnt include the strong spiritual aspects of our current partnership were turned on thier proverbial heads

he has showed me that alltough I submit and do very often place myself in a subordinate position (ie under his will) that I still am cherished, in reality more cherrished than if i did not,,that it doesnt make me a "lower" order of person,in fact quite the opposite

he has showed me that my value is indeed greater than it would have been before I submitted, he places my value even above his own in that sence and I place his above mine, when we both value the other greater than our self, together we sing the song of love and we each thrive. Then we find harmony.

My world view happens to compliment my lifestyle, but it took me many years to shed the influence of the one for the other. It was a long time coming before I could accept the truth that what the vanilla society would have me swallow was against my own hearts nature. From my hearts perspective, what the vanilla world would have me do was live a life of lies.


Spirited girls are often told such things as what I hear you say others have told you. That you are not submissive enough etc etc.

Its my experience that its a common way of a less dominant person to explain how they are not able to dominante you, they resort to such tactics as placing the blame on you as opposed to themselves becuase they are in fact the weaker ones

you burst thier little ego since they call themselves a dom and you dont subordinate yourself to thier will, so they think your behavior is bad etc

That just means you are not submissive enough for them to dominate (wicked evil grins).

It doesnt mean you are not submissive enough to be dominated.


It takes great strength to dominate a strong submissive.

And by strength I dont mean brute force, I mean strength of will and character. My owner often says the most dominant never need resort to any plebian use of physical force to exert dominion in harmony with thier submissive. They work like a slowly rising pool of calm, patient and ever vigilent, eventually showing thier submissive that she need not drown at all if she will but let him help her swim.

When you sence that in a dominant of suficient quantity and quality you will feel it in your heart.

The only person you need to worry about serving or being subordinte to is your own dominant and to do that with joy you need only conquer yourself.