Quote Originally Posted by leo9 View Post
Things have changed, are changing; it's not the Twentieth Century any more. By the time you're in Congress (can't fault your confidence), being exposed as a BDSMer will probably be a big so-what. When I was your age, being outed as gay would be the end of anyone's career. Now it's on their CV.

In short, relax. You're bending yourself out of shape for something that will probably never happen, but if it does, probably won't matter.
Bambina, I totally agree with the people who tell you to be very, very careful. I hope that we will get to a time where people's private business is seen as irrelevant to their job performance, but I think we are getting further from that, not closer. I also disagree with some of the posts on here that seem to be telling you to get over yourself. You are completely right that there are some professions that invite scrutiny and some that don't seem to, although as we read about all the time, people in less high-profile jobs often find their private activities coming back to bite them in the butt anyway.

The one thing I want to add to the discussion is gender, and to an extent, race. The examples cited of public people with some kinks who were not destroyed by their revelation were white men. I very much question whether a woman in our society could salvage a political career if she dismissed previous bdsm experience as youthful exploration. Do you think Hilary Clinton could have? What if she'd had the young intern going down on her in her office? What if she'd merely had oral sex outside of her marriage? Female sexuality is very threatening to many people and I don't see that changing soon. As to race, you don't need me to mention that people of color might be held to different standards.

My advice? Be afraid, be very afraid. Does that mean to deny an integral part of yourself? No, but you'll need to tread a fine line.