I once asked a Dom of mine this same question and he responded with "I feel like I'm about to loose control". I thought this was a really odd response. Dom's are supposed to always be in control. Why wouldn't he just let himself loose control? After all I am there for his pleasure right?

When I opened myself up to being a Dom (a very transforming experience I might add). I understood how he felt. I feel like I'm trying to hold chaos itself. There is a person who can easily walk away rather than submit. There is a person who can hate everything that you are about. There is a person who has their own needs, wants, desires etc. This person then does the most beautiful thing in the world and gives them all to you, for you to put them all together. It is like molding clay, or writing a story, or painting. Describing how it feels to Dom someone is like describing your favorite song. It should make you feel everything.

Sometimes you do have to step back and examine what's going on. Take all the pieces and put them in perspective. That's what helps me stay in control of myself when it gets to be to much. When a slut is doing their job, of teasing, of being inviting, of begging for it. That's when I have to do my job of staying firm to giving them what they need most of all, structure.

So I understand what my old Dom meant. I was doing my job i was making him want to join me in my wanton desires. The problem in that is that losing that control is a very non Dominant thing to do. So with a good sub, I always FEEL tested as a Dom.

I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone other than me and him.