I can only post this because he isn't here to read it.

Don't tell him, but it's all about him.

His little gasp, his little squeak, his deep moan when his eyes disappear into the back of his head when I know I've "gotten it right" (a phrase I've heard many Dominants use; it is for me the prime goal and the most difficult thing to attain), is everything.

The pressure to create is immense. I am the artist, he is the canvas. If I don't do anything, nothing happens. The tendency to repeat makes life difficult because if I've done this before, then he knows what's coming, and that gets boring very quickly. My focus is on his sensation- he needs to know I'm there, he needs to feel my power, he needs to know my control.

What do I need? Mmmmmm...his submission is so delicious; his agreement that yes, he wants this, yes, he craves this, when I put my hand to his body and he moves towards me no matter what may come; he isn't tied because I forced him there, but because he went there willingly.

When I look down at him all tied up with ropes and he gazes up at me with adoration, not fear, that is what makes my heart melt. To have him totally under my power, completely at my mercy, would all mean nothing without his complete and total trust. His trust is what makes him so precious.

In summary, what is going through my mind the whole time are my concerns about what is going through his mind. What he's feeling, what he's thinking. He is not allowed to keep feelings from me, he is not allowed to keep thoughts from me; I cannot create a work of art that is beautiful for us both if he is withholding information. I cannot trust him that he consents if he keeps thoughts to himself.

This is absolutely impossible to explain *sigh*