Thanks to both of you for your messages - Wingsofanangel and Silke.
I should be replying seperately but am not technical enough to do that! Can you advise?
WOA you sound to be a fascinating combination of youth and experienced. I think most of us looking back wish we had the vitality and spirit of youth and the experience of years...just think, you may be achieving what the rest of us would have liked to have been.
Silke, your comments are appreciated - it would be great to hear more of your thoughts. As you can probably tell from the messages between WOA and me I was a bit concerned that our experiences were perhaps not deep enough into BDSM for group members.
Neither Mariko nor I are into hard pain type activity (I learned to back off quickly when we tried nipple clamps!) but our relationship has evolved along a more physicallyy sexual route.
To pick up and comment a little on what you said WOA - I think that I have tried in some ways to break Mariko in to sexual acceptance and experimentation beyond the rather straight-laced and 'superior attitudes' of her Japanese upbringing and Japanese peers. But I think a sort of balance occurred over time. As she became more accustomed to submitting to new types of sexual activity she took on a changed role towards me. On the one hand she was yielding to my will, accepting my 'dominant'.
On the other hand I think she saw that by taking enjoyment from the sexual activities I arranged for her she was also in a way a bit 'dominant' - she was not only being made to service other men in all sorts of ways but was also being letting me know that she in turn was being pleasured by them - trying to make me a bit jealous and envious in return.
I think that this has kept a sort of balance in the relationship which has been stimulating for us and kept us together - not a one sided approach.
This was what I was not sure quite fitted in with BDSM.
I will try to attach two more photos. The first is another one of Mariko experiencing a light but constraining form of bondage. the other is a bit blurred but I like it as it brings back memories. This was taken just after a group session had finished. Whenever I look at this I can remember how Mariko lying exhausted in the hot spring had shortly before been actively engaged in sex in most ways with a number of us. It still makes me feel excited despite the 'iffy' quality to think of how her mouth, breasts and thighs had been working and now looked tired and in need of rest!
Then sometimes recollections are great treasures. Hope you like a bit