Quote Originally Posted by Pearlgem View Post

I would certainly appreciate understanding better what makes switches tick. Maybe they have to speak out, educate the rest of us out of our cosy sub/dom cocoons. Maybe it's all more role play than we give credit for. Maybe we all have 'switchability' lurking inside us .
Thank you for having an open mind about this.

My own guess from too many years of experience is that I am sure that some are one-sided indeed, but that it may be a minority. I remember one camp I was on in which all but one single person described themselves as changing in some way or other. And I got to believe that it takes a safe forum to say these things, because so many one-siders are ready to pounce if you talk about switching.

Of course it doesn't matter at all how many or how few are doing what. What matters is that it would be nice if we all confined ourselves to defining ourselves, and letting others do the same. After all, only the person hirself knows what they are or aren't.

I have often thought that the rhetoric from some people about how you have to be one or the other points towards people who are most comfortable with a very clearly defined identity. And for that reason I am baffled that those same people cannot seem to understand that (some) switchers also want to identify themselves without 'helpful' advice , and that no one but we can do this.

In my case I have to find myself anew, and I am missing expressions for what I think I am. Labels can surely be a pest and cause much hurt feelings and heated debate, but they can also be very inspirational indeed and show the width and depth of the enormous area of bdsm.