Welcome to the BDSM Library.
  • Login:
beymenslotgir.com kalebet34.net escort bodrum bodrum escort
Results 1 to 30 of 97

Hybrid View

thir Why do many BDSM people look... 11-07-2008, 07:10 PM
TheseDays Well some people (not me)... 11-07-2008, 08:35 PM
thir Yes, I guess so, but it is... 11-07-2008, 08:58 PM
Spanxyou It depends on the switch. 02-21-2010, 11:10 PM
thir <nods> I remember when I... 11-10-2008, 03:05 PM
Pearlgem Thir, I don't have any... 11-07-2008, 09:14 PM
thir I think you might well be,... 11-07-2008, 09:29 PM
Timoty Whatwould the world be if the... 11-07-2008, 09:57 PM
thir I am afraid I am not quite... 11-09-2008, 04:06 PM
leo9 It may surprise you, but I'm... 11-09-2008, 05:51 PM
leo9 Yes, I think you are. Some... 11-09-2008, 05:00 PM
Pearlgem As a sub, I view the BDSM... 11-07-2008, 09:50 PM
blythe spirit The only time I "look down"... 11-07-2008, 10:50 PM
voxelectronica I'm pulling quotes out of... 11-08-2008, 12:52 PM
leo9 I have had just the same kind... 11-09-2008, 06:13 PM
LadyAznTiger13 I think that is the core of... 11-10-2008, 06:23 PM
voxelectronica God help you if you aren't... 11-14-2008, 10:36 PM
CoupleOregonJack The more I read on this site,... 10-31-2011, 11:51 PM
thir Thank you for having an open... 11-09-2008, 03:50 PM
sinderella i don't "look down" on... 11-09-2008, 05:16 PM
thir It is my impression that... 11-10-2008, 03:34 PM
sinderella [QUOTE=thir;752801]It is my... 11-12-2008, 02:23 PM
thir [QUOTE=sinderella;754596] ... 11-13-2008, 02:43 AM
shadowcast Good thread. I'm pretty new... 11-11-2008, 09:22 PM
lucy I've been reading through... 11-12-2008, 01:19 AM
Mothra!!! *sigh* I hear ya. I'd... 11-12-2008, 12:35 PM
ghostgirl At the risk of making myself... 11-13-2008, 04:26 AM
Mothra!!! Well, that's sorta my point... 11-13-2008, 10:08 AM
ghostgirl i didn't miss it, Mothra :) 11-13-2008, 12:01 PM
thir My point exactly, and I am... 11-14-2008, 09:09 AM
leo9 Yep, you've hit the thumb... 11-12-2008, 04:07 PM
Veralynne Question Vox- Do you ever... 11-14-2008, 10:45 PM
voxelectronica want is a strong word. I do... 11-14-2008, 11:54 PM
voxelectronica of course i meant "commit" is... 11-15-2008, 11:39 AM
Ninva In everything else in my... 11-18-2008, 11:16 AM
voxelectronica Ha! I'm the same! we should... 11-18-2008, 07:57 PM
Ninva Apparently there's only two... 11-21-2008, 03:03 PM
SauvagePouline but if its a club then you're... 11-21-2008, 04:18 PM
Pearlgem Hmm, I'm not a switch; I've... 11-21-2008, 06:00 PM
voxelectronica I hate it! I hate being... 11-21-2008, 11:29 PM
Guest My answer to this question is... 11-21-2008, 05:06 PM
Ninva Here's the part that I really... 11-21-2008, 05:08 PM
Guest Lol, ninva... I understand... 11-21-2008, 05:31 PM
Ninva *giggle* LIAR! I can't... 11-23-2008, 04:05 PM
voxelectronica NO WAY! I love being me... 11-23-2008, 06:58 PM
Flaming_Redhead BDSM as we know it today... 11-23-2008, 07:02 PM
Ninva Very nicely said, and thank... 11-24-2008, 11:23 AM
denuseri Thank You so much for saying... 11-24-2008, 03:05 PM
thir Sorry to come a little late... 12-19-2008, 04:44 PM
Flaming_Redhead People being the social... 12-21-2008, 01:21 PM
orchidsoul This is surely an interesting... 12-21-2008, 01:58 PM
thir Thanks for making it clearer.... 12-22-2008, 04:19 PM
mindgames I myself am a switch and I... 11-23-2008, 07:28 PM
craven hmmm i am still not sure that... 11-25-2008, 09:23 AM
Pearlgem Reminds me of an old sketch. ... 11-25-2008, 03:10 PM
JamesMDenton I know I'm a bit late to the... 12-15-2008, 09:06 AM
thir No problem, many threads go... 12-19-2008, 04:50 PM
voxelectronica that was awesome! 12-21-2008, 12:32 PM
Arria I do not look down on... 12-21-2008, 02:37 PM
Laila I don't think its just... 12-21-2008, 03:33 PM
Flaming_Redhead It's happening here, too. ... 12-21-2008, 04:00 PM
thir ROTFWL - same problem,... 12-22-2008, 04:46 PM
Diablo It may have something to do... 12-21-2008, 04:20 PM
Guest I think it is like anything... 02-07-2009, 09:29 PM
Apexsandman This question (the one the... 12-28-2009, 09:40 PM
leo9 In my purely personal... 12-29-2009, 03:33 AM
GreyWolf-25 I suppose it's for the same... 03-16-2010, 07:28 PM
TheLimey An interesting discussion,... 03-19-2010, 01:57 PM
Sheling I've skimmed this thread... 03-20-2010, 05:20 PM
thisisme I didn't know that switches... 03-21-2010, 11:42 AM
Fiera I think being a switch is... 03-31-2010, 04:14 PM
RickBulow74 As one who had initially... 04-10-2010, 06:49 AM
socal_dan I don't know about the middle... 04-10-2010, 04:03 PM
Secretside247 I disagree. I don't think... 04-24-2010, 06:09 PM
MstrWolf_ncs_lilbrat i could never be a switch,... 07-03-2010, 11:15 PM
FaerieLytes personally? who cares? i mean... 05-24-2011, 02:06 PM
darinna As a switch here I can tell... 05-26-2011, 07:49 PM
thir [QUOTE=darinna;929241] I can... 05-28-2011, 10:07 AM
Heritor Personally, I am a listed... 06-04-2011, 05:48 PM
davina_ Wow, what a great thread, and... 09-12-2011, 02:28 AM
ksst Davina, that's a really good... 09-12-2011, 06:46 AM
Ozme52 My only issue with switches... 09-12-2011, 11:35 AM
davina_ I agree with everything you... 09-14-2011, 02:29 AM
Aibo In many cases I think it is... 09-25-2011, 07:10 AM
Ozme52 See! Either they whine or... 09-25-2011, 10:22 AM
Heritor I'm not sure your viewpoint... 11-01-2011, 05:57 AM
Heritor That was meant to be a reply... 11-01-2011, 05:59 AM
DowntownAmber Shocker...lol...another... 09-25-2011, 03:29 PM
CoupleOregonJack To make a general statement... 10-31-2011, 04:17 PM
Dog\'s Lady Wow! A lot of really... 12-17-2011, 10:00 PM
ksst I think you make a lot of... 12-18-2011, 10:16 AM
Red-15 I am puzzled by the whole... 12-25-2011, 04:15 AM
Dog\'s Lady Thanks for the clarification,... 12-30-2011, 11:00 PM
Red-15 @Dog's Lady, This has been... 12-31-2011, 02:42 AM
Captivesoul Would anyone look down on a... 01-07-2012, 04:18 PM
  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    1,142
    Post Thanks / Like
    I've been reading through this thread and it kinda, yeah, left me sad. There's all this talking about us folks in the lifestyle are soooo openminded and welcoming to different points of views but when it comes down to actually act accordingly all that talking appears to be a lot of hipocrisy.

    I think one of the reasons why switches are looked down upon may be that they are crossing the neatly drawn borders between subs and Doms and by doing that they "threaten" some peoples' image of themselves, or even their identity.

  2. #2
    Shameless irreverent
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    13
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by lucy View Post
    I've been reading through this thread and it kinda, yeah, left me sad. There's all this talking about us folks in the lifestyle are soooo openminded and welcoming to different points of views but when it comes down to actually act accordingly all that talking appears to be a lot of hipocrisy.
    *sigh* I hear ya.

    I think one of the reasons why switches are looked down upon may be that they are crossing the neatly drawn borders between subs and Doms and by doing that they "threaten" some peoples' image of themselves, or even their identity.
    I'd say that if a person is truly secure in his/her/hir identity as a dom(me), sub, whatever, then the fact that other people do not categorize themselves in exactly the same way shouldn't make any difference. And one won't ever been viewed as the Most Dominant Dom of All or Subbiest Sub Ever by trying to negate the choices of others. I think that dom/sub tendencies, like gender identity and sexual orientation, can be far more fluid and less a matter of "either/or" than is commonly believed.

  3. #3
    monster
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    my own private hell...always room for congenial company
    Posts
    18
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by Mothra!!! View Post
    *sigh* I hear ya.



    I'd say that if a person is truly secure in his/her/hir identity as a dom(me), sub, whatever, then the fact that other people do not categorize themselves in exactly the same way shouldn't make any difference.


    At the risk of making myself instant persona non grata, why do we care so much? A personal level of comfort with my own needs/desires, feelings, and identity and the companionship of kindred spirits is, imo, far more likely to bring me happiness and fun than seeking the validation of others who can't relate to me.

    ...if a person is truly secure in his/her/hir identity as a switch....
    ...if it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing...in handcuffs.

  4. #4
    Shameless irreverent
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    13
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by ghostgirl View Post
    At the risk of making myself instant persona non grata, why do we care so much? A personal level of comfort with my own needs/desires, feelings, and identity and the companionship of kindred spirits is, imo, far more likely to bring me happiness and fun than seeking the validation of others who can't relate to me.

    ...if a person is truly secure in his/her/hir identity as a switch....
    Well, that's sorta my point too

    But unless I'm reading the entire thread wrong, it sounds like thir and others have been frustrated by trying to interact merely on a casual level with folks who can't even grasp the concept of being a switch. That gets tiresome after you've run into it enough times, especially when you're just looking for some friendly discussion on an email list or are trying to socialize at a munch. Having encountered similar attitudes in an entirely different context, I can sympathize.

    But you're right: ultimately you've got to do what makes you happy and content and ignore the naysayers.

  5. #5
    monster
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    my own private hell...always room for congenial company
    Posts
    18
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by Mothra!!! View Post
    Well, that's sorta my point too
    i didn't miss it, Mothra
    ...if it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing...in handcuffs.

  6. #6
    {Leo9}
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    1,443
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by Mothra!!! View Post

    ..unless I'm reading the entire thread wrong, it sounds like thir and others have been frustrated by trying to interact merely on a casual level with folks who can't even grasp the concept of being a switch. That gets tiresome after you've run into it enough times, especially when you're just looking for some friendly discussion on an email list or are trying to socialize at a munch. Having encountered similar attitudes in an entirely different context, I can sympathize.
    My point exactly, and I am not used to that where I come from and so was seeking an explanation, plus I think that there is enough pressure on non-mainstream people that we should stick together. Thirdly, I do not like the tendency by some to be one-wayish and down talk other kinds of paths because, as I have seen and read, newcomers at times try desperately to fit into a box where they really do not belong, because they have been told that that is the way to be. It can be heart-wrenching to listen to and makes me furious.

    But you're right: ultimately you've got to do what makes you happy and content and ignore the naysayers.
    I agree, that is the way to do it. Never mind the self-appointed 'nobility' and dogma, let's be heretics ;-)

  7. #7
    Never been normal
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    England
    Posts
    969
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by lucy View Post
    I've been reading through this thread and it kinda, yeah, left me sad. There's all this talking about us folks in the lifestyle are soooo openminded and welcoming to different points of views but when it comes down to actually act accordingly all that talking appears to be a lot of hipocrisy.

    I think one of the reasons why switches are looked down upon may be that they are crossing the neatly drawn borders between subs and Doms and by doing that they "threaten" some peoples' image of themselves, or even their identity.
    Yep, you've hit the thumb right on the nail there. And one of the ironic things is that, as shadowcast said, a lot of people come into the scene as subs and then discover a dom side {hugs thir}.

    It really does look as if most BDSM people can go both ways, it's just that some strongly prefer one way over the other. So if this means we shouldn't make distinctions (which I don't believe, but for purposes of argument...) then logically, we should be discarding the categories "Dom" and "sub" and classing everyone as different kinds of switch. I don't advocate it myself, because all terms are useful so long as you remember that the map is not the territory, but it's more logical than discarding the category of "switch".
    Leo9
    Oh better far to live and die under the brave black flag I fly,
    Than play a sanctimonious part with a pirate head and a pirate heart.

    www.silveandsteel.co.uk
    www.bertramfox.com

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Back to top
vizebet gelcasinotr.com betoovis.com milosbet betadonis.com.tr venusbet trwin vbet betturka.com.tr betandyoutr.net pusulabetr.com beymenslot megapari canli bahis siteleri 2025 trwin anadoluslot