Hi

[leo9]

It's fascinating what rules couples set in order to feel "faithful" while playing the field. You, if I understand rightly, have vanilla sex with otherloves but you'd feel unfaithful if you subbed to them: contrariwise, we reckon it's OK for me to dom other women so long as I don't fuck them (and anything goes with men). One of my subs tells me that he and his wife have an agreement that he can play with men and she can play with women.

I look forward to hearing other people's rules.

[Mothra!!!]

It's fascinating what rules couples set in order to feel "faithful" while playing the field. You, if I understand rightly, have vanilla sex with otherloves but you'd feel unfaithful if you subbed to them: contrariwise, we reckon it's OK for me to dom other women so long as I don't fuck them (and anything goes with men). One of my subs tells me that he and his wife have an agreement that he can play with men and she can play with women.

Well, I top other lovers at will and there's a certain amount of bottoming I can do, depending, but I am owned by him alone. The power dynamic in our relationship extends past our sex life, which is not the case in other relationships -- even if I let another lover spank me or tie me up during a scene, that doesn't make me their property, and I don't get involved with people who can't respect the fact that my husband/owner has final say in whatever I do, with him or with other people.

Some close friends have a similar situation; they are in a relationship where the sub may sexually dominate other lovers if he wishes, but is not to submit (sexually or otherwise) to anyone else but his dom, who retains the right to determine what his sub can or can't do in the bedroom.

Thanks for the welcome, everybody!

[Mothra!!!]

I should also mention that my husband was way more experienced with the life than I was when we met. He's been really patient and has taught me a lot, including encouraging me to admit that yeah, I have dominant tendencies as well.

But as for being submissive to him 24/7, no questions there. I'm really happy with how that's turned out