Quote Originally Posted by bambina View Post
I have so many fantasies about this lifestyle that I want to act out. But I also have plans for the future where reputation is key. I don't want BDSM activities to come back several years from now and bite me in the backside. For example, right now I'm a student. But lets say I was a regular at a BDSM club in DC. And then, 11 years later, I become a congressman. My face is very unique an recognizable. I am not easily forgotten, especially since I look like a kid. I could never blend in in an adult atmosphere. I don't want news reporters or gossip columnists coming up to me and asking "We've heard from several sources that you use to go to BDSM clubs. Is that true? Are you a sadist? Masochist? We have pictures of you at the club having a drink with a Dominatrix. Please explain." Stuff like that could cause me to lose my job and reputation. As a nobody, it wouldn't matter who knew and who didn't. If I were somebody who simply worked a desk job and had no real dreams to do anything big then a few people knowing what I'm into wouldn't matter. And those few people probably wouldn't care to share what a nobody does on her spare time anyways. But I have big plans for my future and people deliberately dig up garbage on successful people (like basketball players, news reporters, politicians, celebrities, etc...). I'm afraid to take that next step in this lifestyle because I fear it'll come back to haunt me. What do I do? Do I just accept the fact that there are just some things that I'll never be able to experience (like going to a real slave auction or a huge BDSM event)?

in the past, i was invited several times to events like this and was assured that every person there respects the privacy and anonymity of every other person, and you very well may encounter someone you know but it was an unspoken rule that that knowledge would never leave the scene. i keep my interest in this 'lifestyle' private not out of shame but because it is a very personal part of myself, and i safeguard those things fervently. what if someone DOES find out someday? you haven't done anything illegal or harmful to anyone...denying it is denying your true nature, and in my book that is the real travesty. p.s. i am a successful professional, and if someone DID discover my 'secret', it wouldn't make any difference in my career. the only person who matters to me is my child, and having to explain something as complex and deeply personal as this to someone you are bound to protect.