subdrop..lets be honest

[Ownedfyre (mm1)]

I had something similar to this recently. I was doing some learning about pain with a Dom. I was performing tasks. The more I got into it the more I got into a drowsy aroused state where I felt 'high' off of it. I was completely out of it. But when we moved on to something else that wasn't pleasant, I began to come around. I found that I was not happy. Then I wanted to cry. I was so down. I was miserable. I felt like I had failed horribly. It was really awful. And it took me some time to get over it. I was so sad. I just remember I wanted to cry.

[icey]

ive had that sadness and failure feeling a few times lol and im sure others have too so dont worry or feel bad about it need2please you havnt failed at all, and if you think about it as with anything one minute you're feeling great then the next you're doing something you dont like you're not going to be too happy lol

but if you dont like something especially when its some form of play where it is making you unhappy or you're not comfortable with then you should alway say so!
people talk of pushing limits, subs often feel they should do somethiing and worry about displeasing their Dom/me which is all well and good and everybody does it at some point but when its making you unhappy then your partner should learn to recognise that and make sure you are ok,
as always discuss discuss discuss! find out what went wrong, and if you cant come up with an alternative or way around it, then dont do that particular activity again...it's just not for you that all

during: ioh shit this is intense. I'm really gone here. I'm in trouble...

this always feels a bit strange to me, you always know deep down that you are ok and ar'nt in trouble (if you dont then perhaps playing isnt such a good idea lol) but yet it still wont go away that ..oh shit feeling lol
i think some bdsm play is a bit of a headf**k and its not just the pain that causes the high,

maybe that thats one of the reason the drop occurs afterwards you've gone from being (sometimes) s**t scared, and then all of a sudden back to hugging reassurance ..chinese food kind of weird when you think about it.

immediately after: okay, that wasn't real... everything's okay... we're all hugging and laughing and eating chinese food.
Let's just not think about that for a while...
the next day: wait, that really happened, didn't it? I was really vulnerable back there. How did I let that happen?! Is it going to happen again?

thinking about it is probably a good idea, you need to put your feelings into perspective both befoe duing (when thats possible) and most important of all afterwards.
when you've experienced such a 'trauma' which in a way is what it is,like anything else you need to deal with it and see if thee's a way of prevent it from happening again or at least a way of trying to minimise the effects rather than just tuck it away.

the eg i gave when a few days later i was back to 'normal' we discussed it and came up with the conclusion that for that particular type of play (ahell of lot of needles and blood letting was involved too lol) we would build up slowly rather than with other games where we like to jump straight in so to speak.
and we've done that each time since and even though the needles always without fail get me high it's never caused me to drop so badly again...maybe its coincidence but it does seem to work

[bloodtigress]

i do have a question.... what should a sub do when he/or she has been left in subspace after a scene and the Dom has literaly left the vacinity and left the sub there what are the dangers of this and what should a submissive to in this situation?

i was in a scene with my Master and it was a very intense scene and after words i was very deeply into subspace He unbound me then left me be no words besides i am tired i am going home then left me there in subspace i did experience a harsh subdrop at this and am very confused as to why He would do this to me and i need to know what i should do besides talk to Master about it what should i do if He isnt responsive to it or if He does it again. what can i do to bring myself down from subspace if it should happen and what are the dangers most importantly of being left alone in subspace?

[blythe spirit]

Just my two cents here, tigress, but if he's not responsive when you communicate how awful you felt, I'd dump his sorry ass.

In reading this thread, I realize now that I've experienced subdrop twice. Once from an onliner and once in r/l. Once immediately after and once the next day.

When I called the onliner, in near hysterics, he said, "I can't talk now, I'll call you later." (he was busy having coffee) Needless to say, when he called I told him to eff off and slammed the receiver in his ear. I never wanted to experience anything like that again - especially sans support.

In the r/l relationship, it had been the first time and was an intense five days (although it wasn't a BDSM relationship, more daddy/lg, it involved some of the kink, that I won't even allow myself to remember). When he left after five days I felt myself seriously dropping emotionally. And I truly thought it was just his absence at first. But it became a physical thing as well (i.e. shaking all over, feeling dizzy, a pounding headache, a racing heart - yeah, kinda like a panic attack)

When he called, I was still experiencing this and he was able to talk me through it - even though he had no idea what subdrop was.

So, yes, in retrospect, I do believe I've experienced subdrop - and it's damn scary. But, tigress, I don't think it'll kill you to go through it alone.