Top/bottom vs D/s

[SubmissiveDoll]

Thank you for an interesting reply.
If you don't mind clarifying for me: if i'm understanding you correctly, bottoming isn't submission in part *because* you negotiate, and you can halt it? And, if you did have some interest in the top's enjoyment, would you then be submitting?

I want to toss my two cents in here really quick. Subs -CAN- negotiate limits with their Dom. It DOES NOT make you less submissive to have limits. I have hard no's just like anyone else. A D/s relationship requires a lot of communication, to determine every ones safe and comfortable spots. Usually it's the job of the Dom to push those limits and help teach a submissive to expand out. But, you can have limits.

I think what she was trying to say was that if you have no desire to live your everyday life as a submissive, perhaps you simply enjoy being submissive in the bedroom. There is nothing wrong with that at all.

The dynamic in the relationship of people in a lifestyle vs. bedroom BDSM setting is slightly different. But can be just as fulfilling.

[sinderella]

I want to toss my two cents in here really quick. Subs -CAN- negotiate limits with their Dom. It DOES NOT make you less submissive to have limits. I have hard no's just like anyone else. A D/s relationship requires a lot of communication, to determine every ones safe and comfortable spots. Usually it's the job of the Dom to push those limits and help teach a submissive to expand out. But, you can have limits.

it's interesting to see other people's experiences... while i have only had one, and am beginning a new one, i do see one commonality through all of the submissives' experience, and that is trust. my former Dom didn't hand me a list of things He would do to me during our time together, and i didn't hand Him a 'love menu', but in knowing each other and talking to each other many times before each encounter, i sort of knew what to expect, although i didn't know every time everything He planned on doing...and i don't think He did either, although He might give me an overview of what He had in mind. but there was always that safeword waiting for me to use if i needed it, and, if gagged, a little bell to ring. it's funny, your Dom can take you down into his dark places and even if it is kind of scary, it's terribly exciting, especially when He talks to you when He is enjoying you, which of course, meant i never had to use my safeword or bell once, no matter how far he pushed me. yum...