After a couple of relationship with Dom’s that didn’t work out my sub friend met her partner no a vanilla web site. She really liked him and started dropping hints from a very early stage in the relationship, I think on the first date she said how she liked strong decisive men, gradually dropping more hints and seeing how he responded, then showing him web sites etc . Now he’s her Dom and they are very happy. So it can work, I think she got it spot on if you go out with someone vanilla for a long time then suddenly drop the bomb shell its going to be a lot harder.