I just wanted to mention that not everyone here does in fact use BDSM in every part of their lives. How you interpret what this means to you is entirely up to you. You can play in the bedroom, you can only let it affect certain parts of your life, you can have a long term play partner whom you only see once a month just for playing, you can do whatever EVER you want to do.

There is no set definition of slave or sub or dom or anything at all - it's entirely what you want it to be. You need to try to define exactly what you want from this, and what your goals and aims are, and then find someone whos definitions match yours - someone who you're compatible with.

It's not about trying to fit yourself into a certain hole.

It's ok to not want to submit 24/7 to someone.

Just think about what will work for you, and talk to as many people as you can, ask as many questions as you want.

Remember - finding a bdsm partner is just the same as finding a regular partner - you're gonna have to go on a helluva lot of first dates to find 'the one'.

Unless you marry your high school sweetheart... then good on you.