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[damyanti]

There are no two people and no two relationships alike. BDSM is just an all-encompassing term, there is no right or wrong way about it...you have to find what works best for you. Some people want this only as a bedroom game, others want it as 24/7 TPE, most fall somewhere in between. It is my pet hate when some ignoramus poser says I am not real or true because I dont identify as slave (and this comes from subs and doms alike, maybe even more so from subs)...I just usually cut the conversation short, because I am who I am and I owe no justification to anyone. I am neither bottom nor slave, I am submissive...and I am still trying to figure out what that means, what that means to me and what it means to my partner (present or future). I am enjoying the exploration.

It is ok to want more from life, most people do. And I would chance to guess that most people here have that, (even those who identify themselves as slaves). Just, this is a BDSM forum, so most people tend to discuss that and sometimes it can seem overwhelming, if you are new or feeling down and vulnerable.

There is nothing wrong being unable to submit to everyone who says that they are dom/me. I cant. And I wont. I also know what you mean by inexperiance...but everyone has to start somewhere.

Also dont feel that this is some sort of competition against other subs who you think are more submissive. Just as all submissives are not submissive in the same way and have different expectations, so do dominants. The best way to get what you want is to state it clearly.

1/ How do I meet someone who can help me to explore this life?

2/ Does anybody else on the outskirts of this comunity feel like giving up on this, feeling that it may not be the answer to that gap in your life?

2/ Yes, I have felt like giving up, more than once...usually after a bad experience or after feeling (not unlike yourself) that what most people want is way out of my comfort zone...but I didnt give up, because I always knew that this is "the answer to that gap"...I could never be fully satisfied or happy in a purely vanilla relationship.

1/ Patience, (i know, ). You can try chat room and Personals section on this site...or on other sites (but I havent used those, so I cant recommend any). Post on the forums. In some areas you can attend munches, or even dungeon/play parties. Or maybe you get really lucky and meet someone the vanilla way. In the mean time: read, read, read.

Good luck