When I first joined the Library, someone PM'd me with some advice. Part of it was not to take the links to outside materials too seriously, and also not to take the stories too seriously. These are lovely fantasies, but if you want some sense of the reality I would stick to people's postings. Use common sense about taking some of them with a grain of salt also. You'll see that many people aren't as hard-core as you seem to imagine. You might also check out some of the threads on fetlife.