Male submissives

[James2024]

The simple answer is that even in a community that is suppose to be open minded us male submissive are often totally misunderstood. we are looked at as freaks as if we are doing something wrong

[voxelectronica]

The simple answer is that even in a community that is suppose to be open minded us male submissive are often totally misunderstood. we are looked at as freaks as if we are doing something wrong

awww well we love you!

[thir]

The simple answer is that even in a community that is suppose to be open minded us male submissive are often totally misunderstood. we are looked at as freaks as if we are doing something wrong

By whom especially?

Back in Denmark I was a member of a club where the male subs were definitely under pressure from the male doms. I am not sure why, except they (the doms) seemed personally threatened by them for some reason, and it came out as contempt. We had special evenings for male subs and fem doms for that reason - among others ;-))

This is a club that put great store on having equal numbers of fem doms and male doms and fem subs and male subs. Go figure..

[Ozme52]

The simple answer is that even in a community that is suppose to be open minded us male submissive are often totally misunderstood. we are looked at as freaks as if we are doing something wrong

I think that's a self-imposed perspective.

Switches seem to think it too, but that may be mostly the male switches.

What that tells me there is still some feelings of guilt about wanting to be in the submissive role. But the women who feel guilty about giving up on feminism, learn there is room to be both, and get over it. Submissive men should take that as a lesson.

And as far as being "freakish", well, let me tell you, that in the real world, the most despised people are the "abusers" and to the vanillas, that translates to the dominant males.

Any of us can say "woe is me." But it isn't very attractive. I suspect that male subs who just keep posting and presenting themselves will get all the attention they can handle from the dommes they're looking for. It just takes time.

I was on the forum for well over a year, with thousands of posts, before I started making the connections I wanted. It just takes patience and persistance.

[numenor]

The simple answer is that even in a community that is suppose to be open minded us male submissive are often totally misunderstood. we are looked at as freaks as if we are doing something wrong

Just my thoughts…
That is possible, but the female Doms that I know who have male collars don't feel that way. I like to think that I don't feel that way either, I am not sure that I have consciously thought of any submissive as doing "something wrong" I am not sure that I can relate directly. However, I think others have the key to it - that the dearth of communication provides no approach vector to engage in polite or maybe not so polite conversation. When you talk to someone it is much easier to ask questions and query responses, which implicitly provide positive feedback to the person that you are talking to (the "Yes, I am listening to you, and I want to know what you think/feel/want" effect). Without that interplay male subs may not feel welcomed to most conversations and having the desire combined with the fear of not being accepted just go looking elsewhere. This is compounded by the perceived lack of presence of male subs in the forums (which is not accurate there seems to be lots who post to the intro area) while there appears to be a plethora of female subs (I believe the fem subs have their own subforum – not an attack just an observation). If I miss my mark that Womb subforum is run by/for fem subs while the male subs don’t support each other… yet another example of “male non-communicativeness”.

There may be another psychological effect occurring, with more self identified male subs who want a highly scripted play with no deviation being more willing to speak up and approach, because that is safe and known to them instead of unknown regardless of their deeper desires to be dominated.

I do know that many people have a hard time communicating and perceive many comments as negative when those very comments could be construed as either constructive or neutral.
Jay