Quote Originally Posted by gothichippiechick View Post
I have a few questions for those of you who are parents out there-


What are some particular speedbumps you've hit in this area due to being a parent?
Like everyone else - time and privacy. The only time I've really had enough time to play was when I was looking fora new partner after the kid's mother died. I'd found a good babysitter while I had to be in hospital a lot; and when I was hunting afterwards, I used her shamelessly to park the kid while I played!
Do your children know about your interests?
When he was about five he commented to his mother (apropos of a gay pride march - he had an unusual upbringing ) that he thought he'd marry a man when he grew up because "if you marry a woman you have to hurt her." We never knew what had clued him in, but he probably noticed his mother's bruises (she used to dress to show them off, which freaked out the girls at the office who knew her as a ball-busting feminist). So I sat him down and explained that some people like to get hurt as part of making love, but not everyone feels that way and nobody has to do it if they don't want to. I think it reassured him; certainly his taste in internet porn is purely heterosexual ten years on!
If you had a choice would you mind one way or the other if your children were into BDSM when they got older?
When he was 14 I found a bunch of hentai BDSM games on the history file of his browser - play with a bound girl, whip a prisoner till she sucks cock - and I just thought "That's my boy!" But after that we tried, as gently as possible, to steer him away from the crudely objectifying stuff.
In the community how protective are you when it comes to identifying yourself as a parent/talking about your kids? Do you ever worry about that whole "online" aspect here?
I wish I had worried about it more.

When he was 6 I had one slave and was looking for another, so of course I posted an advert on my site; and since I was looking for a live-in relationship, not just a player, of course I said that I had a child. I immediately explained in clear simple words that he was not and never would be involved in anything BDSM or sex-related; but some muppet assumed that if you mention a child and sex on the same page it's about child sex, and contacted the police who jumped to the same conclusion, and the resulting bureacratic and legal screw-up took six years to unscrew.

What made me most angry was that when I finally saw the letter that started it all, it was clear it came from someone in the scene. Reading between the lines, he'd followed a link which a helpful Domme had given me to help my business: but by some mistake she'd linked to my front page, which led to my personal pages as well as the online catalog, and he'd wandered about and tripped over the advert. Maybe it's no accident that it was a pro Domme's client. In my experience, they're the most guilty about their own sexuality and the most ready to condemn the rest of us as sick perverts.
If you are a dom, do you find your parenting style to be authoritarian?
Quite the opposite. With my kid, as with everyone but my slaves, I'm way too soft and easy-going.