Are some doms insecure?

[Miner]

arria, you have a good head on your shoulders for the most part. Communications discipline is one aspect of discipline. It may be for punshment, it may be for other issues. It is NOT for others (outside the relationship) to comment on or make judgements about.

Am I the only Dom who finds it rather interesting that so many subs feel free to make a judgement on Dominants?

[Pearlgem]

Am I the only Dom who finds it rather interesting that so many subs feel free to make a judgement on Dominants?

But this is a forum where free expression of opinion outside of the roles we play with particular partners is what's expected and encouraged. You may call it a 'judgement on Doms' but I see it as sharing advice, opinion and experience. And where does it say that being a sub means you can never offer an opinion about the role of a Dom? We are speaking with sub experience, not in the role of subs. It's entirely appropriate here.

I would also be interested in what other Doms think about this but frankly I would be very surprised if they felt there was something wrong that subs feel free to speak out here, even about Doms, just as they are doing.

[violett]

But this is a forum where free expression of opinion outside of the roles we play with particular partners is what's expected and encouraged. You may call it a 'judgement on Doms' but I see it as sharing advice, opinion and experience. And where does it say that being a sub means you can never offer an opinion about the role of a Dom? It's entirely appropriate here.

I would also be interested in what other Doms think about this but frankly I would be very surprised if they felt there was something wrong that subs feel free to speak out here, even about Doms, just as they are doing.

I agree with you 100% Pearl - there is nothing wrong with having an opinion on the role of a dom or sub and sharing it here in the forums - that is exactly what the forums are for in my opinion.

I am wondering if a dom who is concerned that subs are discussing issues is not a tiny little bit insecure themselves??

[jezabel]

I am wondering if a dom who is concerned that subs are discussing issues is not a tiny little bit insecure themselves??

you must have been reading my mind hun, we may be submissive but noone said we had to mindless robots with no opinions of our own

for my two penn'orth worth, yes i think some doms are insecure, but i think they tend to be young ones with little experience. im allowed to talk to anyone i want...but for my preference, i dont play with other Doms.

[Miner]

see below - got timed out

[Miner]

I am wondering if a dom who is concerned that subs are discussing issues is not a tiny little bit insecure themselves??

Lol tiamat - why not ask my girl about that?

In my experience as a Dom there are a lot of reasons where communications restrictions can be a discipline issue. I have certainly used them in that way in the past. They can also be a sign of insecurity. Which is it? Without knowing the details behind the ban there is no way to determine that. I would have thought people would look for possible reasons besides the obvious.

In terms of this being a forum - I have no objection to fora at all - I just find it interesting that a question addressed to Dom/mes was being answered by subs for the most part. Was my comment perjorative? No, not at all. Just a comment (plus, I do so like to stir the pot - lmao)

(I hate the way the site times me out though)

[Pearlgem]

In terms of this being a forum - I have no objection to fora at all - I just find it interesting that a question addressed to Dom/mes was being answered by subs for the most part. Was my comment perjorative? No, not at all. Just a comment (plus, I do so like to stir the pot - lmao)

Well, the question was in the 'BDSM Talk' section which is role neutral, but also, Doms and subs traditionally chip in their 'two cents worth' to each other's posts on here which to my mind adds that interesting extra dimension to them. And consider the numbers of female subs on here and how communicative we tend to be - how dreary the forums would be without us!

[sirbootnocka]

But this is a forum where free expression of opinion outside of the roles we play with particular partners is what's expected and encouraged. You may call it a 'judgement on Doms' but I see it as sharing advice, opinion and experience. And where does it say that being a sub means you can never offer an opinion about the role of a Dom? We are speaking with sub experience, not in the role of subs. It's entirely appropriate here.

I would also be interested in what other Doms think about this but frankly I would be very surprised if they felt there was something wrong that subs feel free to speak out here, even about Doms, just as they are doing.

This type of forum is here, so that we can discuss and share information, to have a better and safer time doing what we like to do. I say "LAY IT ALL OUT THERE, FOR ALL TO SEE"! Because if you have nowhere to voice your concerns or opinions, or no forum to exchange information, you end up with people getting hurt in very baaaadd ways. We don't want that. Let's not forget about the horror stories that are so prevalent in our lifestyle!

[Arria]

Am I the only Dom who finds it rather interesting that so many subs feel free to make a judgement on Dominants?

Dear Miner

Firstly, thanks.

As for the question: People will always judge people, in- and outside the BDSM context.

It is my impression that the discussion of such things is mainly done to protect subs, as a bad person can do way more harm as a dom to a sub than vice versa. And I think that´s important.

Doms are people like everybody else, and why should they be above judgement? Moreover, the entry post was made by a dom...

And as the others already pointed out: This is a forum. A forum is a platform for discussion.