Sub block?

[Pearlgem]

I have sometimes felt myself in a kind of weird, parallel universe with my Master as if we're always minutes or inches distant from each other and I'm therefore not truly with him in my submissive heart and soul as I want and need to be. Sometimes this has provoked a mini 'crisis' which allowed me release from whatever was blocking me from him, but I know now it doesn't have to take a crisis to fix.
I'm fixed because he's the right Master for me, but he can only put right what he knows about, what I no longer hide from him. The problem, I've discovered, is not exactly lack of honesty on my part - it's lack of honest, sometimes painful vulnerability with him. I often don't really know what's blocking me, but presenting myself to him warts and all, with difficulties and resentments, with troubles and dissatisfaction, and trusting in his judgement and control of me has so often released that distancing cold grip, and I find my heart melting and my whole spirit yearning joyfully and submissively for him again.

Be vulnerable and as respectfully, helpfully honest about your vulnerabilities as you can possibly be. Submit, too, this part of yourself to your Mistress. Don't nurse or keep resentments or dissatisfactions from her. Let her in to help you. All else may follow.

[jeanne]

The problem, I've discovered, is not exactly lack of honesty on my part - it's lack of honest, sometimes painful vulnerability with him.

Gosh. You wrote 'me'. Thanks, Pearlgem.

It's hard to allow myself to be vulnerable when I'm used to handling my emotions by myself.