The key to remember is that BDSM has some extremely negative connotations. Depictions on the TV or in movies (Marquis de Sade, etc) emphasise the worst aspects of it, the most extreme and violent things- really serious whippings, really bad degredation and humiliation, and so on and so forth. Obviously that does go on and some people enjoy it, but BDSM runs the gamut from soft and gentle to the seriously hard core.

When you're new to the idea, it is easy to make a snap judgement and equate BDSM with the horrific, like real rape and domestic abuse. I know I certainly felt the same way when I first contemplated the scene, and it wasn't until I talked to an IRL Owned Slave about it that things started to coalesce and I began to understand.

As it stands, I am WAAAAAAY over on the "nice" side of BDSM. And there's nothing wrong with whatever flavour anyone else prefers- so long, of course, as it works for their partner.

I can understand if it's something your friend doesn't want to discuss ever again, but if it helps, feel free to hit us up for advice, assistance, or if you just need to vent

He's a guy and guys have a great ability to pretend something never happened. See if his guy instincts kick in and the whole blows over.
Well, not so much that We just resolve things at the time and then move on. So we don't like going back over arguments or conversations we've already had

Mind you, now both of us need to hand in our testicles and Man Club cards for revealing male secrets