Good luck, Buttons.
I hope James is just being nervous/anxious about putting a real start to his/yours bdsm wishes.
It might also be the case that he is very private about it. I am with someone at the moment that does not like any kind of groups/activities in the "bdsm community" - he likes to keep his affairs very privately - but, trust me, that doesn't mean he's not into it!Not at all!
Well, I hope it'll work out for the best for you!
And keep us posted!
Hugs,