[QUOTE=Pflutter;835767] "(...) I know that hypervigilant state all too well. It is a survival mechanism because maybe, if you can read the situation ..just.. right, you can take evasive maneuvers and deflect some trouble for today, for the evening, for an hour.
(...)
The trouble is that once ingrained it seems impossible to turn off. (...) Using the drug of choice (which changes) helps turn the volume down (...)"

I agree 100 % with this.

And Iīd like to add that to my personal knowledge, there are only 2 ways to break out of the loop of attracting the same sort of abusive man over and over again:
- Getting really good professional help
or
- Meeting an asshole that simply goes over the top and makes YOU turn around on him because you simply donīt want to take it anymore.
The second option is more efficient in my eyes, because it provides you with a highly sensitive asshole-radar for the future search of a partner.
Moreover, you will draw a line far earlier if you ever actually happen again to get together with that sort of guy.