Not to jump into an already loaded thread here... but yeah, I am going to jump into an already loaded thread, LOL.

Look, anyone that tells you that they have sex every single day, and kinky sex to boot, is completely full of shit. Absolutely full of shit. Send them on over to me-- I will tell them to their face how full of shit they are. *laughs* Either that, or they have absolutely no life or responsibilities. And if so, either they are billionaires, or they are mooching off the system... but enough about that.

Look, I think EVERYONE struggles with the "honey/Master/My Lord/God/King/Reigning Diety/Guru/Fucker, I am not in the mood" problem--whether they are vanilla or kinky. Just because we are kinky fucks doesn't mean we don't struggle with it the same as vanilla folks... we just seem to think it's less "acceptable" because, damn it, we're KINKY! Well, that's just flat out crap, lol! It's a normal physical, mental, emotional response to life & stress: you get tired, you go through ups & downs, and after a long day, the last thing a lot of people want is a scene, or really, sex of any kind--kinky OR vanilla. Whether you come home to 2 rugrats running around, grabbing for your every moment of attention, or you come home to a puppy who wants a walk, or you come home to your significant other, you are tired & need to unwind... and the last thing you want to do is more work. And let's be real: sex, to be honest, is work. It isn't that we don't ENJOY it... we do... but it is work. We tend to view it as "one more thing to do" on our to do list, or one of those "oh hell..." types of things...the "is it already that time again?" thing.

The key to balance is to figure out a way to turn sex from a chore into something enjoyable, and to meld it into your life into a fun, non-intrusive way that works for YOU. For some kinky people, this is a 24/7 M/s or D/s relationship, in which they have melded the sexual in by folding BDSM into their everyday, every moment lifestyle, as much as possible, so that it no longer is just about "the sex" but is about "more than." For other kinky folks, it's having some crazy ass sex once or twice a month after they send the kids over to grandma's for the afternoon. It doesn't matter WHAT way you choose to do it... it's finding something that works into your busy schedule & your life. And just know: more is NOT necessarily merrier. Don't listen to the people that say "to be ______, you must have sex ______." Bullshit. You go on & have sex as much/little as works for you & yours-- some people are nymphomaniacs & need it every 10 seconds. Some people are satiated w/once or twice a month. Hey, whatever rolls your boat.

On a personal note, both T & I are gone from the house generally 4/5am --> 6/7pm everyday, and often even longer hours than that. When we get home, I am not going to be a swinging monkey, hanging from ropes from the ceiling, while he beats me senseless & fucks my brains out (well, not every night... I know, sorry to wreck your fantasies, boys). THAT would not be safe (we are both WAY too tired), and it would be unenjoyable--we are both too tired for that nonsense. Instead, we safe our crazy playtimes for days when we're both off, and instead do "milder" fun on those nights where maybe we are a little randy, or we are both "in the mood."

But seriously. Don't push it. If you are feeling like you aren't "getting enough," that's something you should communicate with your partner. But if it's simply a matter of feeling like "hmm... are we not 'like everyone else?'" then realize that the REALITY of living lifestyle is FAR different than the stories/fantasy land. Most people have demanding jobs & lives, and aren't kinky on a day to day basis every day of the week.

Just my very long two cents.