Bingo!
That little phrase should be engraved on the gates of this site! Kink is so much more enjoyable when you keep it real, and don't try to force it.
Perhaps the real difference between o/l and r/t is just that in r/l ordinary life is much more present. Kink just isn't the same when you or your partner have a stonking cold, or one of you slipped on the ice and sprained an ankle, or the bills need sorting and paying.