i am not sure if my experience will be helpful at all, but i would like to try. my father abused 2 cousins and my and my brother. my brother is in prison for abusing children. none of the rest of us are child molesters. one of my cousins is a therapist and she will not talk about it at all with anyone, one talks about it and is trying to get better. i have been in treatment for much of my life and am doing well for the last few years. as ian said, we are all different, dealing differently. we all suffered differently. i am a recovered addict and was hospitalized for suicide. my cousin who is the therapist only looks to be suffering the least. her kids are never out of sight. she homeschools them and doesn't even let them go to sunday school in her church. she can't read a magazine article or newspaper without finding reasons to keep her kids in. with exception the the one in prison, she is truly the sickest of us all. when i was newly finding all of this out i wanted so badly to be with other family members and get better together or know who was a danger. the only way i got better was in treatment for PTSD. the road to peace for me has been work as was said above. it wasn't usually gotten from where i thought it would be thats for sure. i hope you find what you need.