Quote Originally Posted by DuncanONeil View Post
I have one of each! Made every effort to deal with them as thinking entities. My daughter heard a lot of the traditional daddy threats about how their boyfriends would be treated. My favorite being a spiked baseball bat. But in reality her friendships were treated as just that. With attendant curfews and analysis as needed, same for my son.
After having made a multi-year attempt to teach values, responsibility, and yes, morals (which involve more than sex) the only option left when those come into play is to provide guidance, when required.
Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Even so one can not just abdicate, or allow others to substitute for you. Remember if you want a job done correct ....
Yeah, the spiked baseball bat sounds like what I would be thinking about. But it's good to hear that you were treating your children as young adults, not as chidren. You were teaching them what they needed to know as they moved into the adult world. As you say, it is a very hard job indeed, one which seemingly will never end.

And I, for one, am not saying one should abdicate that responsibility. In fact, I'm saying the opposite. Some things, such as biology and psychology, might be better taught in schools, with qualified teachers who know more about the subjects than I do. That doesn't mean you can just ignore the topic, though. There is still much about it that must be taught at home. Morality being perhaps the most important. But there has to be a certain amount of common sense and understanding mixed in with that morality. Trying to teach your kids that something is filthy and sinful and disgusting one day but perfectly fine once you sign that marriage certificate is just confusing the issues. Sure, you can try to impress upon them that they'll be happier if they wait, but at the same time they are seeing all around them signs that sexual activity among loving couples can be just as rewarding without marriage.

Perhaps your kids didn't experiment with sex, or drugs, or alcohol. But how can you be sure? And if they were sexually active, what could you have done about it except try to understand them? Would you have locked your daughter away in the basement and found a suitable mate for her, as some cultures might?

No, it's far better to teach your kids what they NEED to know, not hide it from them until you think they're old enough.