As a newbie the myth that I recall was the one stating....if you are not into 'heavy' BDSM you aren't serious and aren't a real submissive.

Boulderdash!

This expansive lifestyle is somewhat like a smorgasbord, if you like shrimp you fill your plate, if you dislike beets you leave them on the table.

I happen to adore shrimp, being held down, oysters, mindfucks, cheesecake, and a deep voice ~suggesting~ what I experience. I shy away from cranberries, pain, okra, and fireplay. Shrugs. But isn't it wonderful that we have the choice as to what delicacies we chose?

Bring on the tiramisu!