technological infidelity?

[denuseri]

First off I am curious as to what your saying an SMS is exactly? Are you talking about instant messaging?

And one might assume that logic would dictate that what is and isnt considered infidelity should be defined by those actually in a relationship between each other.

Where as logic doesnt nessesarally preclude, as is sugested by the spurious corelation in the quoted passage above: that interaction through long distance forms of media being more prevelant must also mean that people are being any more or less true to one another in their relationships.

[thir]

First off I am curious as to what your saying an SMS is exactly? Are you talking about instant messaging?

Messages between mobile phones - that's what we call them here.

And one might assume that logic would dictate that what is and isnt considered infidelity should be defined by those actually in a relationship between each other.

Well yes, but I was interested in a general opion on on-line relationships, as I have seen it mentioned as problematic by people on lists. For instance that one person in a relationship spends hours every evening writing an online partner and telling him/her things not mentioned among the primary partners.

As for sms's (mobile messages) this has also been mentioned as a problem for some.

Where as logic doesnt nessesarally preclude, as is sugested by the spurious corelation in the quoted passage above: that interaction through long distance forms of media being more prevelant must also mean that people are being any more or less true to one another in their relationships.

I was surprised at this idea myself, one reason to ask here. The whole article is about infidelity, and only part of it mentions technology. Where it comes in is among other things the interview person's views on monogamy: that monogay is in trouble and that it and infidelity should be viewed differently.
That there should be a different view on emotional and physical infidelity. On-line relationships are viewed as emotional infidelity.

Perel: "Infidelity, she says, is one of the great recurring themes of the human experience. "And we are not monogamous! We are not! "

"We need to start to understand infidelity in terms of the complexities of life today. We need to think in terms of the failed ambitions of love."

"We talk a little about the new, shadowy areas of human relations: the texts and email and iChats that may or may not qualify as cheating. Perel thinks that a flirty text message exchange can be as potent an infidelity as a fully fledged, physical affair. "So you don't touch? Sometimes this can be far more erotic than sex – because it all works in your imagination." Furthermore, this rapidly expanding field of infidelity is yet another reason for us to redefine monogamy. "Do we have to put monogamy on a spectrum? Do we need to think: what does monogamy mean to me? Does it mean no sex with other people? Does it mean not to look at other people? Does it mean not to fantasise about other people? Does it mean not to Facebook your exes? Not to text your friends? Where is the line going to be drawn? Monogamy today is no longer going to be assumed. It's going to have to be negotiated."

[leo9]

As for sms's (mobile messages) this has also been mentioned as a problem for some.

We have had a celebrity adultery scandal in the UK tabloids recently, where the man's sexy text messages to his Other Woman were a major talking point.

Or so I gathered from the headlines - never bothered to read about it.

[Ozme52]

Messages between mobile phones - that's what we call them here.

SMS - Single Message Service, is a technical term here in the states and mostly used within the industry. That's the only place I used it and we had to spell it out as we already used the acronym for one of our business offerings.

Well yes, but I was interested in a general opion on on-line relationships, as I have seen it mentioned as problematic by people on lists. For instance that one person in a relationship spends hours every evening writing an online partner and telling him/her things not mentioned among the primary partners.

It's a mixed message, but not sharing certain information with a partner shoudl not, in and of itself, be considered an infidelity. Many people pay for that right... it's called therapy.

As for sms's (mobile messages) this has also been mentioned as a problem for some.

I was surprised at this idea myself, one reason to ask here. The whole article is about infidelity, and only part of it mentions technology. Where it comes in is among other things the interview person's views on monogamy: that monogay is in trouble and that it and infidelity should be viewed differently.
That there should be a different view on emotional and physical infidelity. On-line relationships are viewed as emotional infidelity.

Perel: "Infidelity, she says, is one of the great recurring themes of the human experience. "And we are not monogamous! We are not! "

"We need to start to understand infidelity in terms of the complexities of life today. We need to think in terms of the failed ambitions of love."

"We talk a little about the new, shadowy areas of human relations: the texts and email and iChats that may or may not qualify as cheating. Perel thinks that a flirty text message exchange can be as potent an infidelity as a fully fledged, physical affair. "So you don't touch? Sometimes this can be far more erotic than sex – because it all works in your imagination." Furthermore, this rapidly expanding field of infidelity is yet another reason for us to redefine monogamy. "Do we have to put monogamy on a spectrum? Do we need to think: what does monogamy mean to me? Does it mean no sex with other people? Does it mean not to look at other people? Does it mean not to fantasise about other people? Does it mean not to Facebook your exes? Not to text your friends? Where is the line going to be drawn? Monogamy today is no longer going to be assumed. It's going to have to be negotiated."

I guess, if you considered having a pen pal, or even spent solitary hours alone with your own thoughts and a written journal or diary... that was okay but no longer because technology allows more people access?

When did it become a problem to talk to your friends?

Oh... I remember. When you brits sent us your puritans and pilgrims. LOL

(Notice my cross thread rant theme yet?)