sub needing advice

[LovesKink]

why are so called experienced Dom's asking newbie submissives to think of their own punishments i have to ask ???

[Miner]

why are so called experienced Dom's asking newbie submissives to think of their own punishments i have to ask ???

Because it makes the submissive think. It makes her think about what she's done, what it means to her to be disobedient (willfully disobedient at that). Her answer tells how seriously she views the issue, and a lot about how her mind works vis a vis obedience. There's also the humiliation side of making her ask here, and witness the reaction of others to her disobedience.

The dominant does not need to use the punishment the submissive suggests, or can use it and add to it if he thinks she's not severe enough.

Use your imagination LovesKink, and perhaps you'll be able to add a few twists to your question.

In terms of the disobedience issue, tigergirl. The punishment should fit the crime. It depends on the nature of the task you refused, the sorts of limits you have and how badly upset I felt about your disobedience (and likely I'd have expected it about then anyway). At the very least you could expect some serious tasks that would take you a long time to complete and which would teach you something as well.

[Ozme52]

why are so called experienced Dom's asking newbie submissives to think of their own punishments i have to ask ???

Because subs are often far harder on themselves than I would be... in an online situation. If it can't be a hands-on punishment, I more interested in her own motivators than in the actual punishment....

AND if she isn't harsh enough, that's a second punishable offense.

I do not, however, let her go elsewhere asking for help... that provides no additional value to the scene.