Thank you This is a real life relationship . My gut instinct is to protect him from the knowledge , as it can only cause pain, and dissapointment . Which I don't really feel punishment would relieve . He has never punished me , as I have taken pains to be as he would like . And he is not a hard taskmaster . I have always been totally honest till now , so yes maybe you are right and it would do me more good than him . I have spent some time on this site recently and respect and value the advice and opinions of the contributors . I think i have learned a lot . It just seems that in a whole lot of posts that honesty is valued more highly than almost anything else . I think I will be punishing myself so much anyway . And I am surprised and relieved that I haven't had loads of poeple tell me how wicked I am to have allowed thus situation to develop in the first place . .