This will sound odd as it wasn't a sexual relationship, but I had exactly that - years and years of insidious yet deeply destructive abuse - with my family.

It's the nature of relationships like that, that seem apparently healthy and fulfilling at the time until that certain line is crossed, that people tend not to appreciate the full extent of their destructiveness upon them until well after the event itself. And often not until you experience something that isn't destructive and abusive and suddenly have a benchmark to compare your own experiences with.

Once the revelations pass (and they never will completely), it will get easier. Give yourself time to make the comparisons and to understand how you are reacting to the things you now remember. Also consider how such things were masked from you for such a long time.

But, most importantly, know that you're one of the few who got out. That took balls, and it doesn't matter how long it lasted or how humiliated you feel now; the truth is that the vast majority of abuse victims stay that way (for whatever reason).

It'll get easier. And as awesome as this new guy sounds, bear in mind that it's your journey and you need to understand where you've been while you make busy with moving forward.

You'll be fine, kiddo. x