God, i hate it when he does that! I tend to be harsher on myself than he would be, especially if i really fucked up.
God, i hate it when he does that! I tend to be harsher on myself than he would be, especially if i really fucked up.
That is why I no longer let subs choose for themselves. Too harsh, too cruel, too self damaging. Learned that long ago now.
Besides... my personal disappointment is often punishment enough. Letting it show is worse. And if something physical is required, it's required because I need something. Why would I let her choose my appeasement?
The Wizard of Ahhhhhhhs
Chief Magistrate - Emerald City
i would have to say that when He is disappointed i crumble inside,
although there are times when He says when physical is what He wishes something like how many lashes and makes me count them out. i hate that because i never know if i pick if it is too much or too little and if it was too little....its amazing what can go through your head when you are in whipping position...
I personally know I am much harsher on myself than Master ever has been. He needs only say I have disappointed Him, and the emotional ringer I can put myself through is worse than anything He could do.
That said, it helps to have Him assign punishments. When I am done with my punishment (usually writing a long essay on how I messed up, or being put in the corner for extended periods of time), I kneel before Him and know that He still loves me, and forgives me. If I picked my own punishments, I wouldn't have the comfort of knowing I had done what He felt was needed. I've had times where I've fidgeted too much or written a poor essay, and had to start over. Yet when He is satisfied, I know I have made a step towards redemption for my transgression. That brings me comfort, and is why I could never pick my own punishments.
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