Quote Originally Posted by TheSeeker View Post
on the flip side something unplanned that is embarassing is just plain embarassing not humiliating
That's just plain semantics and is totally in the eye of the beholder, as pointed out by brwneydgirl.

And planning is irrelevent.

I can tell my girl to wear a short skirt and to shop for items on the bottom shelf... and not to bend her knees when doing so. Fully and deliberately planned. She will be embarrassed. The turn on will be generated by her embarrassment. It will further generated by her anticipation of her embarrassment.

If we are sitting at a table over dinner, even with kink friends, and I unexpectedly tell her to reach under her skirt and masturbate, totally unplanned and unexpected, I know she will be humiliated to do so.

Planning --- irrelevent. And recognizing it's all semantics, you might consider the two scenes to be humiliating and embarrassing respectively... but it's not your scene, not your embarrassment, not your humiliation. It's hers.

There is no one definition that fits every submissive. Each must be assessed by their respective needs, limits, and triggers.