Quote Originally Posted by Tojo

One of the biggest for me was realising that D/s is not always about physical punishment & 'forcing' one's sub to do things.

Another is that the majority of devotees are following a rigid list of guidelines.



Tojo

I think the reason that a sub gets the impression that he/she is being "forced" is because the sub is doing something that is very different and feels an enormous amount of hesitation.

Sir was my first dom....everything he had me do was new. I was very hesitant and didn't want to do things because well....I was scared of the new things, afraid of what other thought and well....it was all so damn new. But as I did his tasks he wanted me to do, it was about the submission. Learning to submit to his judgment and authority I gave him over me. Learning to give up control is hard...it will feel like one is being "forced" when really....you DO have a choice.....

I had the belief that certain guidlines had to be followed or things always had to be how the dom wanted. Well, through Daddy, I've learned that although he is my dom, he cares about what I feel and think and that he does expect to be obeyed...but he doesn't go by all those bogus guidelines...it's what we were comfortable with most.

The two myths you mentioned where the same I had too...still figuring the rest out....