thank you so much for sharing your story. i have been in a similar situation- when i told a vanilla boyfriend that i was into kinky things and a Male/female dynamic, he used it as an opportunity to abuse me for years. i didn't know at the time what 'real' Doms were like, so i accepted what he was doing because i thought i was getting what i had asked for.

It wasn't until i'd found out about actual, safe and consensual BDSM that i realised what was happening to me was abuse.

Like you, i've now found a Partner who respects and cares for me, along with my submission.