I actually talk to a psychologist who is a strong advocate for exploring BDSM in safe, sane and consensual means because it requires explicit communication, trust and willingness to explore your needs and that of your partners. All building blocks for a strong, health relationship.

She said that it's very common for people who define themselves as submissives or slaves in the D/s realm to be abused in vanilla relationships. Often not openly, but through manipulation, demeaning behavior and usually emotionally or verbally. B/c it's easy to dismiss those things, the submissive makes excuses and defends the other person. That girls like me are by far not alone, especially not in the D/s world.